We try so hard sometimes to make ourselves fit into the wrong part of the puzzle. We push and push and dent the sides of our piece. Sometimes we can shove our piece into the spot only to have it dented and bruised. It looks like it fits, but does it really?
This is what I tried desperately to do with Christianity, particularly Catholicism. I pushed so hard to make concepts work. I kept going "If I can just find a way to justify A B C I can do this, I can make it work." Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen you cannot make a religion work for you. You will only cause yourself great despair. You will feel like you have been torn into a million pieces. Its definitely not pretty.
I remember sitting there with books going "If A B C only worked like D E F then it would be fine. Can I twist it so it will be fine?" Once you start doing that you are really forcing a religion onto yourself. Catholicism and Christianity became so much work for me. So much hard work to make myself believe. It was so hard, so taxing I got to a point where I just wanted it NOT to work so it would be over. I would sit in church and it would pain me because I knew that what I was hearing , saying, doing didn't agree with me. But I wanted it to, oh how much easier life would be if I had just been able to accept Catholicism.
About 2 years ago I officially let go. And although it was sad it was a relief. I was so angry with myself for not being able to believe that I had lost all touch with God. When I finally said "Stop, you can't do this anymore. Let go." the door back to God opened for me. I got so clouded by trying to "make it work" I forgot what I was working for in the first place: A solid relationship with God. I let go and although it has been lonely and frustrating floating through religion limbo I know it is better than forcing a religion upon myself.
Through Islam I gained a greater respect for Catholicism and Christianity. I saw the true beauty behind them. It is a beautiful path, a true path. Perfect for many. I will never belittle these faiths, never run them through the mud. In fact I will defend them because for many they are the truth. And they deserve to be respected and understood.
If Christianity and Catholicism were people I would want to say this: I apologize if I disrespected you. I apologize if I miss represented you. I apologize for the pain I caused, for the arguments we had. I have a great deal of respect for you, I see your true beauty. Although we can never be together, I hope that we can continue to have a friendship that will last a lifetime.
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I can see why you would find Catholicism confusing. But to say the least you don't have to be Catholic to be Christian. And the Bible is also a LOT less confusing if you don't try to force Catholic tradition on it. There are many instances where Catholicism in particular interprets the Bible in ways that you would NEVER come upon without that tradition. You might well come to precisely the opposite conclusion. I read what the Bible says about itself and conclude that tradition just has to go. And like I said, for me at least it's a lot less confusing that way. On the other hand, there are people who are completely convinced of the opposite conclusion. And I have no idea how to communicate with these people. There is an increasing number of people in my life at the moment of whom that is true. And some of them are very close to my heart indeed. It is not fun. So even if, as I suppose, I have gotten in a bit on the tail end of the story and don't know the whole thing from the start, I gather your situation has not been fun either.
ReplyDeleteCaraboska: I studied both but I started with Catholicism and really pushed that one because it was what I was born into, its what my family is. I actually found some of the Protestant churches to be more confusing. I actually enjoyed orthodox quite a bit, but my confusions were present in all Christian religions so it didn't really solve the problem. Unitarian I probably could have worked with prior to studying Islam. Honestly if I have to start over I'm heading to the Universalists or the Unitarians. Or being a monotheistic Buddhist :)
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph is really amazing and I want to take the same attitude towards Islam. I want to stop being upset and threatened by it. Thanks for the inspiration. You have a lot of wisdom LK! <3
ReplyDeleteSarah: Aw thanks. trust me, it takes a long time but it can happen.
ReplyDeleteI kind of figured you must have come from a Catholic background. Really, you found Protestant churches more confusing? Hmm, guess I've been lucky. Or maybe it's that 'out of the box' thing that has saved me a certain amount of trouble. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had my share of agony trying to fit into certain Protestant circles and not being able to. But I knew all the time that if I have to choose between church and Scripture, I choose Scripture - and importantly, not what the church says Scripture says. At least that much I got from church. They were in fact willing to put up with quite a bit of 'out of the box' from a person if they were evidently serious-minded and treated the Scriptures with due respect. And at least there was the freedom to leave without recriminations when that became necessary. How was that with you? Did you have to deal with recriminations or other types of trouble about leaving a given fellowship behind?
ReplyDeleteCaraboska: I've had no issues from other people except my parents in regards to not identifying with a church. Most of my friends are agnostic anyway. My muslim friends seem to only care that I believe in one God, my Catholic friends seem to only care that I believe in One God. Maybe its my age group (16-30) that is more open minded about religion and allows for this kind of universal thought.
ReplyDeleteI guess I like the underdog since I also identify with Shia Islam which is clearly the smaller of the two. Many would say it makes absolutely no sense but for me it is much more clear than the Sunni school.
I do worry about the horrible reprocussions experienced by those leaving Islam. Apostasy, in islam, was originally suppose to refer to "those that deny one God. Those that leave the People of the Book" but is now defined solely with leaving Islam. In fact, I had never even heard of an apostate until I started studying Islam. I think its because Christian religions aren't nearly as hurt by people leaving the church. They don't take it personally. Apostasy in Islam has some brutal consequences, even if those consequences are clearly condemned by the Qur'an and the prophet. People have been taught a horrible thing, and its too late to correct it. Luckily, Western born muslims don't seem to have this viewpoint. They might be hurt if a friend leaves but they won't want to kill them. This seems to be a purely middle eastern veiwpoint. Its sad, because it seems so unintelligent. Almost primative. And Islam is anything but primative. I find it difficult to believe in 1400 years these people have not gained enough knowledge to realize they are being foolish and going against Allah. I hope someday Allah helps them to realize their mistake.
Those who attack the people who leave. They are the ones who make the mistake
ReplyDeleteI know. I've never been able to get how people get 'kill the apostates' out of 'there is no compulsion in religion'. They must REALLY want the latter to mean the former, because it requires some serious mental gymnastics...
ReplyDeleteCaraboska: LOL Exactly! I dont know where some common beliefs come from. What I've gathered from my research they are adopted from how the Arabs use to deal with people prior to islam and many of these practices were re-instated after the death of the prophet, particularly by Uthman. That man had some issues, especially with women. His reign caused a lot of the segregation we are familar with today. Then those in power to which benefited from these practices encouraged them and insured their place in the religion and society. Thank God for modern scholars who are starting to discredit a lot of these thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIts culture going against religion. We see it everywhere. I had a friend ask me the other day why Christians are allowed to live together and have sex before marriage. I said they are not and she looked at me and said "But they all do." Which, at least in my experience, is mainly true. Just because something is a common practice in a country that is dominated by a certain religion does not make that practice part of the religion. And it is really hard to distinguish between the two.
:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O In the circles I have traveled in, that is by and large not true. I have encountered entire churches where people practice 'no-touch love' (i.e. don't even shake hands before marriage). There are even a few very conservative Protestants left in Poland who think it is immoral to walk down the street with an MOS in broad daylight - even if you aren't touching - unless you're married to each other. The Bible also tells Christians to not even eat with sexually immoral people who claim to be Christians.
ReplyDeleteI would say that the United States may be dominated by people who claim to be Christian. Whether they are is another matter. I've read statistics suggesting that perhaps 20% of the population are in principle Bible-believing Christians.
How many of these are actually Bible-living Christians, no one can know for sure. Establishing that would in the end require access to information that is in principle in the exclusive possession of God Almighty.
Now, I was interested to read recently that many Central Asian cultures that are in principle Muslim believe that women should cover their hair because the hair is a point of entry for demons, or something to that effect. In other words, this business of head covering was in place before Muhammad, for entirely different reasons.
I am also aware that there are other cultures in the area (Persian?) where covering up in that way was supposed to be the exclusive province of noblewomen. And indeed - I have noticed that in most Western cultures as well, what peasants wear as ordinary everyday clothing is viewed by nobles in their culture as underwear. So that I see connotations in hijab of dressing like a woman of dignity - like a noblewoman - regardless of your worldly rank in society. Which is something I like a lot, being the egalitarian type I am...
Caraboska: You travel with very different people than I do. Though I agree those that I know who lived together or had sex before marriage (or even outside of a commited relationship) were basically Christian by association. A few who practiced at least waited to have sex or live together until they were engaged. I do not know any couple that has not lived together before marriage except for my one Muslim friend who is married. Its just the way of America. Its become "ok" to do this. And I do not consider America a Christian country. I consider it a monotheistic country with Christian tendencies :)
ReplyDeleteHijab was adopted from both the Christians/Jews and the noble women of Syria. To offer these women privacy they wore scarves. Christian women did this for a similar reason. They would wear cloaks or hats or scarves outside for privacy and respect. And then for prayer. It was originally adopted for the prophet's wives who needed extra privacy from all the men coming and going in the prophet's home. That is also why they used a face veil, to avoid being stared at and to show their status so the men would not forget who they are. Eventually, the concept got adopted for all women as a way to show who they are and the respect they deserve. Although their is a good chance, like the Christian women, veils where used for prayer. But most likely were not adopted by all women in their daily lives until later when they began to emulate the prophet's wives.
YAY Reza Aslan filling my head with knowledge.
LK, sadly you are right about many (most?) Americans these days, but thankfully there are still some who believe sex is for married couples only. Most of my close friends have NOT lived together prior to marriage, but remained virgins until they married. Or if they didn't remain virgins, it wasn't something they flaunted. I think it varies more in certain circles -- some are way more liberal in this than others.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah, if America = Biblical Christianity then I want NO part of this belief system. Obviously if you know Jesus' teachings you realize that America is faaaaaar from a Christ-following nation. Too bad. :(
I suppose my vision of the States is somewhat colored by the fact that the last time I really lived there was nearly 20 years ago. And I admit to traveling with Quakers there at the moment, and they are CONSIDERABLY more liberal (and the Meeting I attend is one of the most liberal of the lot). The only reason I still go, probably, is that at least they have a hard and fast rule about respecting other people's convictions, so that if you're out of the box, they don't make trouble for you.
ReplyDeleteI love the last paragraph!
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