Found My Issue

We all run into an issue at some point that could make or break a choice. I think I found mine and its a doosey.

I'm not sure I will be able to believe that the Qur'an we have today is 100% the word of God.

Now, its not that I have any big issues with the Qur'an. I really don't, I find it beautiful and moving. But I come from a Christian background. The Bible has been severely messed with over time, the Torah got messed with a bit too. Its hard for me to believe that someone didn't sneak something in their while it was being written down. I know a lot of procausions were made to make sure the Qur'an stayed as authentic as possible (such as Muhammad having multiple scribes who would write down the same passage and cross check). But people are corrupt, its that simple. If what has happened over time to the Bible could happen, I can see easily how something could have gotten slipped into the Qur'an while it was being written down the first time. Bad part is I expect there to be something that does not belong.

Obviously this is a HUGE issue. Muslims have to believe the Qur'an is 100% the word of God. It might as well be one of the fundamentals. I do believe it is a Holy Book inspired by God, just don't know if every word is God's word. Maybe my issue is I can only read translations. Maybe if I could read and understand Arabic I would feel differently. But I'm stuck with translations who's writers add their own two cents every line or so in parenthesis that drive me crazy.

So I have no idea what to do now except keep reading it and hope for the best. 2 years of studying may be lost all to my simple inability to believe in perfection. My peace and joy found in Islam will have to be lost because I cannot convert with this issue over my head.

Time to end this post before I start thinking of all the things and the person I would loose.

Edit: I have been reading Tariq Ramadan's "Messenger" and he too states that the prophet had scribes who wrote down the Qur'an as he revealed it. On top of that he had his companions memorize it in case there were any discrepancy. This means Muhammad was directly involved in the order of the Qur'an and the written word. I have to marvel at the effort put in by Muhammad (as) to keep the book in tact.

Things I've Learned Since Studying Islam

I am now calmer than I use to be. I am able to handle stress without flying off the handle or having a panic attack because I know to stop, think, and ask God for help. And that you can’t do much while you are angry at the world. Anger and frustration get you no where fast.

I feel closer to God. I haven’t felt this close to God since I had major surgery as a child. I feel more at peace with my relationship with God. I feel like it is growing and developing. My understanding of God is beginning to finally take shape. I am becoming at peace with my view of how God fits in my life.

I have only been with the women at the school for a short while but I feel like I may have found a group of people to which I can belong. I have never had that before in my entire life. Women and I don’t usually get along.

I love the Qur’an and it has answered so many questions that I could not have answered by anything else. It has also taught me to look again at the beauty of the Gospel.

Islam has allowed me to take another look at Christianity. I am able to see the beauty in Christianity now that I am on the outside. I may not believe Jesus is God, but I can appreciate the Christian religion. I am also more effectively able to appreciate the intricacies of Jewish tradition.

I am more sensitive to other faiths.

I have found a religion that sees Jesus as I see him. A great prophet sent to save humanity from itself by inspiring us with his teachings. He did suffer to save us just not in the way Christianity dictates. I’m not entirely sure about Islam’s view of the crucifixion though.

I have only begun the prayer ritual but so far I have found the seeds of the meditative serenity that I crave.

I love hijab. I feel much more feminine now than I did before. I feel more beautiful, confident, and comfortable in my body. I have learned how important it is to have respect for your self and to not sell yourself to men. Your body is for you, not for everyone else to eye.

I am able to see how important God is to one’s life. More important than a career or love or material things. If you have God, everything else seems less important.

Everything in Islam has a logical reason or purpose. If it does not, then it may not truly be a part of the religion. A religion that functions on logic amazes me and makes sense to me.

Hadiths are frustrating but they cannot be ignored. You do not need to believe in every hadith in existence to be a muslim.

I am excited about possibly being a part of an organized religion. This has never happened. It is not a chore, it is an adventure.

Being a muslim is more than following a bunch of rules, reading Arabic, and wearing hijab. Its about finding a connection with God and finding the best way to serve him. I think this is ultimately true for all three religions. However, because there are different types of people in this world, one religion may not work for all. Perhaps there are three to choose from because one religion would not work perfectly for everyone. Different people need different things. It is up to you to figure out what you need to best serve God. Its only a theory.

You must choose religion. Until you choose your religion, you cannot serve God and know God to the best of your ability.

I have more respect and see more value in my parents than I did before. Partly, because I have been faced with the possibility of loosing them. It’s also because of all the focus put on parents in Islam. It is also because even when I presented them with a concept they did not like, they still agreed to not disown me.

I feel I can do a lot of good as a muslim.

I clearly see the issues with Western society and the things that should not be acceptable. I no longer find skimpy clothing, using sex or flirting to get what you want, drinking etc to be acceptable behavior.

So what I need to figure out is this: What makes a religion right for someone? Is it how much you agree with the book, the rules, and the practices. Or is it how the religion brings you closer to God, allows you to serve God. Yes you need to believe in the core aspects (Ex: Muhammad is a prophet) but can you disagree with portions of a religion and still have it be the one for you?

I’m not sure. But I move toward the later.

Revelation Note: You Cannot Agree With Everything

You do not have to agree with everything.  Every rule, hadith, suggestion, teaching, or scholar. Agreeing with everything is impossible.

If it disagrees with the Qur'an, then it may prove to be false.  The Qur'an comes first.

Yet you may have to become OK with some things you do not agree with.  If these "things" are major parts of the religion, then you might have a problem.  If not, then there is room to work.

No religion is perfect and in the end you have to find your own way.