To The Brides...

Brides: Do not mandate a dress code for your bachelorette party. Especially if that dress code is a little black dress.

My friend is getting married. For her party we are heading to a place where these bands she likes play. Not fancy at all. I assumed that the dress code would be jeans and a t-shirt.

I was wrong.

She turns to me today and says "Do you own a little black dress?"

I, assuming she wanted to borrow it, said, "Yeah I do. Its really little and I only wore it once a long while ago for a wedding. I bet you'd like it." (My friend loves tiny clothing. Sexy, but usually somewhat sophisticated. With massive high heels.)

Then she grinned like the Cheshire Cat, "Well, you'll need it for my bachelorette party. You all are required to wear little black dresses. My girls are going to look sexy."

I starred at her, kinda like in a cartoon when the character's jaw drops and the eyes bug out. Then I laughed at her. "You know I don't wear that stuff. Besides I don't own one that I would wear in public."

She smiled. "Well then you need to get one." I saw that mischievous twinkle in her eye that let me know she knew she was getting under my skin, in a playful way.

We bantered back and forth. I asking for a little more fabric, she taking it away. I fighting for a knee length hemline, she pulling for a lower neckline. We settled on the idea of me finding a black dress that was Mad Men Style. Sexy, but sophisticated. Covered in the right places.

But she is still determined to get me into a truly little black dress.

Ladies, don't do this to your friends. Its just not cool.

My Mate List

Sarah at Climbing the Ivory Tower put up a rather fun list about what she would like in a partner. I thought this was fun and would make one myself.

1) We need to have things in common so we can actually go out and enjoy stuff together. I don't want to be like my parents who don't do anything because they have nothing in common.

2) Friendship. This is incredibly important to me because after about a year that crazy chemical attraction wears off and you are left with compatibility. One of the best ways to ensure a long relationship is friendship. It means you have more interest in each other outside of a dating relationship.

3) Kindness and understanding. I can get a little overly emotional. I need my man to be able to sit back, take it in, then calmly deal with me. Usually takes a kind and understanding person to do that.

4) Must be a geek. Its a requirement. Only a geek will ever truly understand me. Doesn't need to be full on geek, but has to understand geek-ness.

5) Someone who is independent. I don't want to have to take care of them all the time. They also can't be constantly indecisive...that drives me crazy. I want him to take initiative sometimes.

6) He can't be orthodox in any religion. Its too hard to blend orthodox and reformed. In fact, anyone too into one particular religion might not work well for me. But he does need to believe in God.

7) Intelligence. I like men I can have an actual conversation with who are interested in books and philosophy and the world, not just football.

8) He needs to have drive. I can't stand unmotivated men. If life isn't working for you do something about it. Go toward a goal.

9) Someone who's family understands the customs of the country they live in. Also, a family who is not too into their religion and can accept people from outside their culture/ethnicity.

10) Someone who will talk to me when something is bothering them. I hate when partners avoid confrontation because they don't want to upset you. Avoidance just makes things worse.

11) Someone who is an American citizen.

12) I would do well with a left brainer. As I am 100% artsy right brained, I tend to not get along well with people who are also right brained. That is because I am right brained but practical/realistic. Many right brainers are not. I prefer mathematicians, scientists, philosophers, physicologists, IT, or technicians. Maybe a graphic designer. Absolutely no actors...EVER. That mistake I will not make again.

13) Someone who does not get drunk. I really don't think I could date someone who likes to get drunk.

14) Someone who can go out on the town, but be just as ok staying in and watching TV.

15) I'd love a man who would set up romantic surprises. I've never had one of those and I think they'd be fun lol.

What do you want in man/woman?

END OF AUGUST!

As you know, I'm moving out of my apartment end of August. Now, my original lease date is Oct 1 but due to when my friends need to get an apartment I need to leave a month early. I called the building, who transfered me to a broker (Brokers are like realistate agents for apartments but shadier). The broker and I agreed that if we could find someone to rent the place by September 1st I could get my security deposit back. Seemed fair. He then asked me if he could start showing the place this weekend.

Of course I said NO. My place is a disaster. Its a horrible mess. Plus I haven't solved the mold problem in the bathroom (never take an apt that doesn't have ventilation in the bathroom) and my kitchen frightens even me. I stumbled with shock saying there was no way my apartment was in any condition to show. That I needed at least 2 weeks to get it going, even though he wants to show it next weekend. He said fine and to call him when its ready. Seemed fair so I thanked him and hung up.

5pm today I get a call. Its the broker. He wants to show someone the apartment.

>_<

'WTF? Did I call you!?' I wanted to shout. I was so shocked, he didn't even give me a chance to say no. He showed up 1 minute later with a young man. My place: tornado might as well hit it it looks so bad. Everything is out of the closets because I'm reorganizing. The young man looks pleased though. Then the broker turns to me and asks:

"When are you moving?"

O_O

"September 1st. Not till September 1st."

The young man looks at me wide-eyed, then at the broker. "Dude that doesn't work. I need an apartment August 1st, not September. I don't think I can wait that long."

Broker, "I'm just showing you this place because its similar to the apartment that is open August 1st that is just below this one. That's all."

Found out later from my super's wife, who finds the broker to be an appalling man, that the apartment below me is nothing remotely like mine. At all. Its a one bedroom and isn't even set up like mine. Nor does it have the awesome view of the skyline.

This broker, who funny enough was the one who got me the apartment in the first place, was trying to trick this man. This broker probably would have made me leave early if it had benefited him.

And I am putting my security deposit in the hands of this guy?

....Wish me luck.

PARTY DRESS!

I JUST WON THIS ON EBAY!

I'm very excited :) ebay is evil btw. It will suck in your soul because you will want to win stuff. Then it makes you spend way more than you wanted to because you want to win. Luckily, this was very inexpensive.

Ladies, learn your clothing measurements. You can get really nice clothes for really cheap. This is a shift dress from the 1960s. This was $25 including the shipping. $25!!!! The vintage store up the block from my office would have easily charged $125 for the same dress. It pays to play ebay.

I love ebay. But its still evil.

Back from the Party and a T length Dress

I'm back from the party! It was fun, nice to see my extended family. I very rarely ever see them. Especially great to see my cousin who would probably be one of my best friends if I lived closer. But fortunately she and I will live quite close to each other real soon YAY!

I wore what I call a "Mad Men" dress to the reception. It is a t length (calf length) full skirt dress with short sleeves and a boat neck. I got it on ebay for a great price and its from the early 1960s. I love it. And I realized something that night.

It was so nice not to be concerned that my lower leg was showing. On top of that I realized I really didn't care if my lower leg was showing. I didn't feel like I was being immodest or inappropriate. I just felt pretty and comfortable. I'm not saying I'm going to start running around in mini skirts, but I think my opinion on what I need to wear is changing. Its becoming more of a high bred of hijab and American modesty which suits me just fine. I also cut quite a bit of hair off and now have chin length hair which means I wear my hair down all the time. This too does not make me feel immodest at all. I'm actually starting to wonder why there was a point in my life I made such a big deal over my hair being down in the first place. But I guess its just like another blogger friend said: You get the compulsion to cover, and then you get the compulsion to do something else. Doesn't make one better than the other but sometimes God tells us to do something for a period of time and once we gain the knowledge He saute for us we can somewhat return to what we were. I learned a lot from completely covering but I think God is telling me its time to find my happy medium :).

Apartment Tips and Horror Stories

Many of you are probably graduating college (Praise God) and are looking for your first apartment. You can't contain your excitement. You finally get your own place. You pick the first place you find. It looks amazing, the price is great, you are stoked.

And you find out soon enough...its a dud. Apartments can be deceiving, especially in big cities. They have this amazing talent of hiding even huge problems. I am going to give you a few tips that I've learned in three years of living in the Big City.

1) Make sure the shower doesn't leak. If you live in an old building you will end up with rust in your bathtub. You will be cleaning it twice a week. Turn the shower on when you go look at the place then turn it off. If it keeps dripping, you will probably have this problem.

2) Ventilation in the bathroom - this is important not for why you think. No ventilation means mold. And it sucks to try and clean away the mold all the time. Leaving the bathroom door open while you shower doesn't help either.

3) Watch for holes in the walls - Holes in the walls mean mice. If there are a lot of them there is a good chance you will get little critters visiting you. My first apartment was picked by my roommate before I moved out here. Due to the massive amount of holes we ended up with centipedes and mice. LOTS of mice. So many that you saw them during the day! Pull a box off a shelf, out pops a mouse. Not a pretty picture.

4) Make sure your windows have screens. Yep. Some big city apartments don't have screens. Go figure.

5) Make sure the fridge is super cold. My fridge doesn't get cold which means I have to push everything to the back of it and can't put anything on the door. Its very annoying.

6) Make sure your Super actually fixes stuff. This is hard to do but you can always ask another tenant. I actually love my Super, he fixes everything that he can anyway. Some of my apt issues need a real plumber...and brand new pipes.

7) Pay attention to the neighborhood - again, my old roommate did not do this. We ended up with a cheap apt alright, but a crappy neighborhood. You should not hear gunshots at night. You can usually tell by how the area is presented. If its run down, there is a good chance its not so good yet. Also pay attention to the people around you. If you are uncomfortable in that area then its not the place for you. This is especially important for women.

8) Make sure you have laundry near by - again, first apt did not. I had to walk over half a mile to do my laundry. Not cool. If you can get a place with laundry in the building its so worth it.

9) If you are not going to have a car then make sure you live somewhere that does not need one - haha again first apt. We lived in a place where you need a car which was fine when my friends with a car lived down the block. But once we had a falling out I was left walking almost 2 miles to the grocery store. I really hated that first apt.....

10) Get roommates - you may not want them but they will make things a lot cheaper. I love having my own apt but the cost is astronomical. I simply can't afford it but I do since I had a bad roommate experience. Second roomie was cool though so its possible. I highly recommend it. But don't live with people you work with, it gets too complicated. And for all that is good and holy do NOT live with your boyfriend....trust me.

11) Keep a gallon of water on you at all times - you never know when they will randomly shut off your water. And they will do this.

12) If you don't have central air - a lot of places in big cities do not due to the age of the buildings. This means a wall unit. Most likely, you will need to buy one yourself. This is a good thing because then you can buy an energy efficent model. Get one that has an "energy saver" option which shuts the air conditioner off once the room reaches the desired temperature. Also, only run your air conditioner when absolutely necessary. Running the air conditioner, even if you only run it from when you get home from work to when you leave the next morning, will double your electric bill.

13) Don't go furniture crazy - You will not live here the rest of your life. Do not buy all matching items to fit the place and get all fancy. Its a waste of money because most likely those items will not fit just right into the next place you move. Get that fancy kitchen table when you get married :).

14) Storage space - this is a must. Look for a place with at least 3 closets: one for clothes, one for stuff, one for a pantry. It will make your life so much easier. Make sure you only take to your new place what you really need. My current apt is the same size as my bedroom at home. Except now I live in that small space. You gotta consolidate. Take things to Good Will or sell them on ebay. I know that is my plan.

So hopefully this helps a few. You can learn from my Big City mistakes. Pray to God that my third apartment is better....and has a dish washer. God please give me a dish washer :)

I'm Being Interviewed?

I logged into DA today to find out that my Unity drawing won the Unity Contest at Muslim-Manga. You can see the drawing HERE. Now, I entered this contest almost 2 months ago so I figured I didn't win. The interview will be on Islamunity.net. I have informed them that I am not Muslim as that may affect what questions they ask me. No clue what the interview will be about.

We shall see how it goes.

The Artist and the Ambulance

I am irrationally terrified of driving. If there is a phobia of driving I have it. The thought of getting behind the wheel of a car after 2.5 years of not driving makes my chest hurt and hands shake with fear. I have always been convinced that my life will end in a car accident. Or worse, I will be paralyzed for life. Every time I get into a car I pray that God will let me live to my destination. I even had an angel figure and a blessed rosary in my old car in college. Pretty sure I had Buddhist prayer beads too.

The fear of driving is so overwhelming and right now I am overcome by the fact that I will have to learn to drive everywhere again. In a few short months I will have to drive. And I really don't like that idea. The Big City has allowed me to only take public transportation. No worries of injury or death. You've seen how people drive, its terrifying! Honestly, their should be better assessments for driver's licenses....and for procreation but that's another subject all together.

So how does one get over their fear of driving? By driving of course. I had gotten to the point in college where I never drove. I made my boyfriend drive all the time. I was so paranoid of everything. I had a major anxiety disorder. Now, that anxiety only surfaces in the face of driving a car. I gotta go back to the country, get behind the wheel, and drive.

I wish we still road horses everywhere....they are much easier than cars. At least a horse won't crash into another horse. Though he might throw you over a fence, but that is a story for another day.

NOTE: Artist and the Ambulance is actually a title of a song by Brandnew. I think of its video every time I get into a car. Couple, doing fine, driving in a storm, BAM. End of happiness.

Injury During Prayer

Warning: If your abaya has large buttons down the front be careful not to kneel on them when you go into sujood. You will in fact get a large, button sized bruise on your knee. And it will HURT!

Ouch.

Hallelujah

I was walking home from Sunday School yesterday in probably the worst heat wave we've had in awhile. I spent most of my walk fighting with my scarf as the tail kept threatening to wrap itself around my head. As I was walking I pasted a huge Korean church and outside of that church hobbled a little old Asian man with a cane. The little man raised up his hand and yelled "Hallelujah!" at me as we passed each other in opposite directions. I didn't know what to do so I waved back at him and smiled. In retrospect, I probably should have said "Hallelujah" back to him but I was too stunned. I'm use to "Salaam" but not "Hallelujah".

Any idea what that was about?

Note: "Hallelujah" means "Praise the Lord."

Greatest Commerical Ever!

UbyKotex Reality Check commercials are brilliant - PopWrap



Watch it, its so true.

Burqa and Jeans

A conversation from work. FYI my co-worker has no idea I study Islam.

My Co-worker is looking at a beautiful short formal dress a friend brought to work. Its got a low back, low front, halter top with a skirt to the knee. Its bronze, shiny, and gorgeous.

CW: This dress is amazing! LK you should borrow this from her!

LK: Well um, maybe with you know a cardigan...and a higher back....and something in the front.

CW: Yeah you dress really conservative. It would look nice though.

LK: Yeah well I wouldn't....

CW: Maybe with a burqa and jeans!

Yeah....she really said that. And I died in a fit of laughter. Because its true.. except it would be an abaya and jeans.

I never really thought my clothes was that noticeable. But I guess when its 90 out and you are in a cardigan and maxi dress people notice your modest attire. And my style has now been dubbed "hippie chic".

Name Game

Me: I like the name Zayn. Its not too middle eastern. You know our kids could turn out white right?

My Love: How about Ali?

Me: How is that NOT Middle eastern?

ML: Hamza?

Me: No

ML: Musa

Me: No

ML: Jaf'r.

Me: Definitely no. That makes me think of Jafar from Aladdin.

ML: Yes how about Aladdin! (he is actually serious).

Me: We are not naming our future child Aladdin.

ML: But...

Me: No. How about Jasmine?

ML: I don't like it.

Men are strange.........