My friend is getting married. For her party we are heading to a place where these bands she likes play. Not fancy at all. I assumed that the dress code would be jeans and a t-shirt.
I was wrong.
She turns to me today and says "Do you own a little black dress?"
I, assuming she wanted to borrow it, said, "Yeah I do. Its really little and I only wore it once a long while ago for a wedding. I bet you'd like it." (My friend loves tiny clothing. Sexy, but usually somewhat sophisticated. With massive high heels.)
Then she grinned like the Cheshire Cat, "Well, you'll need it for my bachelorette party. You all are required to wear little black dresses. My girls are going to look sexy."
I starred at her, kinda like in a cartoon when the character's jaw drops and the eyes bug out. Then I laughed at her. "You know I don't wear that stuff. Besides I don't own one that I would wear in public."
She smiled. "Well then you need to get one." I saw that mischievous twinkle in her eye that let me know she knew she was getting under my skin, in a playful way.
We bantered back and forth. I asking for a little more fabric, she taking it away. I fighting for a knee length hemline, she pulling for a lower neckline. We settled on the idea of me finding a black dress that was Mad Men Style. Sexy, but sophisticated. Covered in the right places.
But she is still determined to get me into a truly little black dress.
Ladies, don't do this to your friends. Its just not cool.
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I would show up in black if that's what she wanted, but the compromise would stop right there. And if she didn't like it, I'd leave the party. Modesty is more important than pleasing one's friends. If they can't deal with that, the question needs to be posed as to whether these are the sort of people one wants to be hanging with...
ReplyDeleteCaraboska: well yeah, but I think her insistency is a bride thing too. Some brides (ok a lot of them) feel a bit entitled around their wedding. They want what they want. Its not like she'd throw me out of the party if I showed up in a black maxi dress or anything. She just doesn't understand modesty.
ReplyDeleteI'd hate to think I'd force someone to wear something she isn't comfortable with. :-/ My sense of entitlement be damned! :)
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine was looking at bridesmaid dresses with me last year and kept insisting on ones that were knee-length, sleeveless, and low-cut. It made sense since she was doing an outdoor wedding in the middle of the summer, but I was still wearing hijab whenever I went out in public then, and wasn't comfortable with it, so I told her that maybe she should pick another bridesmaid so she could still have what she wanted. Her response - "I'm sure you could still wear a head-covering with these dresses!" :D They mean well, but most people just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteSanil: Aw lol your friend is like my friend. They get blinded by the vision and can't see reason.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I think if I were wearing hijab my friend would not say something like that. She does at least understand hijab. But since Im not Muslim she doesnt get my choice to be modest since modesty is not a requirement for me...weird but true.
LOL my toughest thing is trying to get my friends to wear more conservative dresses when going out with me. ugh so annoying to be conservative with hoochie friends. so attracts the wrong attention!
ReplyDeleteAnya: LOL I know how that goes. Most of my friends wear relatively modest clothing (By american standards) except for this one getting married LOL Maybe thats why we are all single and she is getting married? LOL JK
ReplyDeleteIf that's the real reason that she's getting married, it wouldn't be a real marriage, since it would be some kind of physical lust that is drawing them together and not God. In other words, they would be entering into a relationship of legalized fornication.
ReplyDeleteIt is quite true that if we choose to live by God's standards, there will be little place for us in the world. Worldly men will not want us. And that is a good thing, quite frankly.
Or if a worldly man does want us, we can be sure that his intentions are not good. He will do whatever he can to try to corrupt us. And unfortunately, the mere fact that he says he's religious and even engages in religious practices on a regular basis is not sufficient to guarantee that he isn't worldly.
Unfortunately, I haven't figured out any good way to find out for sure if a man is worldly except to wait many years and see what happens. Not even think of marrying him until the attraction has died down to such an extent that it would be necessary to make a choice to 'do anything' with him. And if he is still hanging around at that point, then maybe just maybe he's for real.
Caraboska: you are WAY off base dear. and it was a joke (jk = just kidding). They were friends 4 years before they started dating, dated for a year, and decided to marry. They are marrying so early instead of waiting till they are older (they are a year out of college) because it is against Catholicism to live together and he had to move out of state. So God is indeed involved.
ReplyDeleteI dunno what men did to you sister but believe me they are not all that bad.