Hijab is Not Relative

I have thought about this a lot and have come to the conclusion that although I wanted terribly for it to be so, hijab is not relative to culture. Modesty is but hijab is not. Hijab is not another word for modesty. It is a strict dress code for Muslim men and women. It is not about modesty but rather about privacy. The word hijab (as referenced HERE) actually translates to curtain or more specifically a curtain used for privacy. Hijab, if you really look at it, is way more about privacy then modesty. Its about keeping men at an arms distance and protecting women from the sight of others. If we are covered head to toe, no one can see us and our privacy cannot be invaded. The hijab "dress code" amplifies this with the requirements of covering everything with loose fabric other than the face and hands. No one can see anything, the woman's body is only known to herself. Her privacy is secured.

Hijab also deals with giving women their rights as far as treatment but I have not see that work as well as it should. Yes, it keeps men from making advances in a country like America but go to some "Muslim" countries and they will be all over the hijabis or harassing them. I love the intention of hijab but hijab on its own will not gain you respect. The culture has to respect hijab for a hijabi to be respected. Sadly, a lot of Islamic cultures do not respect hijab or hijab is so common they look right past what it means. And the men take hijab as a license to behave badly, like they have no self control. But what hijab does achieve in the west is a sense of modesty which does gain a woman a certain amount of respect she would not have in a mini skirt and tube top. So at least that is progress.

Factor in the social edicate portion and you have a full behavioral code. Hijab tells us to lower our gaze and cover our selves. Many a hadith will be interpreted to mean that we must also avoid speaking to men, befriending men, and working/interacting with them. Now yes this has some good points but in a non Muslim society that can be quite difficult. I personally find it unnecessary and could not get use to the way I had to interact with my male friends in the presence of other Muslims. I especially could not get over the fact that my one friend had to wait at the end of the block after circle so he could ride the train home with me late at night. This was for my safety but the sheikh would have disapproved so he hid the kind intention. How does that make sense? I think, in the case of male/female interaction, there are good intentions that are often taken quite too far.

As much as many of us would like, we can't really bend the rules and call it hijab. They are all encompassing and involve every aspect of our lives as women. One can't really say that a knee length skirt with a half sleeve top and no scarf is hijab. Is it modest by American standards? Yes. But hijab? No. This was my biggest struggle. I wanted hijab and modesty to mean the same thing but they just don't. Hijab is a dress code and a way of being. It affects the way you speak, interact, and move. Its all encompassing. Modesty is not all encompassing, modesty does not have a strict set of rules. Modesty is relative to what your culture dictates is modest. If you accept an orthodox approach to Islam then you have to accept the orthodox definition of hijab. I could not accept it and it tourchered me. Especially the scarf. I see no reason why I should ever have to wear a scarf. I do not see men falling over themselves at the sight of my hair. Sometimes I think if God wanted us covered head to toe we would have been born with fur. This does not mean, however, that I find no value in modesty. I find a tremendous value in modesty and choose to dress modest myself. But I do not see why one must wear a scarf. I do not see how not wearing a scarf gets me sent to Hell as many speakers would have you believe. That means that the majority of the female population is heading straight to Hell because they do not wear a scarf. This concept just baffles me.

I applaud women who choose to follow hijab, but I also think it should be ok to be Muslim and not wear the stated requirements. However, I do think that if you choose not to wear or follow hijab, you will have a very difficult time being an orthodox Muslim. Which is how hijab became one of the main reasons I had to break off my relationship. Without hijab, the scarf in particular, I could never have been "Muslim" enough. I would like people to stop and think before they attack each other over something so simple as a scarf or a specific dress code. Because people attack by what they see on the outside, not the inner hijab. A dress code does not make you a good Muslim; your belief in Allah and the teachings of Muhammad are what make you a good Muslim. Scarf or no scarf.