Sr. A was out of town so I got put in a class with the crazy 12 yr old boys from my class with Br. S. We were attempting to do tafseer but the boys couldn't get past how the moon relates to the sun relates to the earth. The Ayat was something about the sun and its light shining on the moon as she waits. Lets just say I got nothing out of that class.
I finally prayed with everyone! It was really a beautiful experience. I barely needed my directions because I could follow along with all of them. I felt this nice warmness, it was soothing and calming. Yeah there were a few times I was lost like I didn't realize after the salutation and 3 Allahu Akbars you shake hands with the people next to you. That is nice though, peace be upon your neighbors and all is a good gesture. I really did enjoy the group prayer, I want to find out when the mosque does Maghrib and Isha to see if I can try to make it at least once or twice a week. Insha'Allah I can ask Br. S.
We also have a guest Sheik with us for a few weeks. He talked a little bit about the importance of Imam Husayn (May Allah Be Pleased With Him). He told the story of the angel who lost his wings and was sent to beg for forgiveness on an island. He then saw Jibreel (Gabriel) flying overhead and found out later that Jibreel was going to greet the grandson of the prophet, Imam Husayn. The angel asks if he can come with and beg the prophet to intercede on his behalf. He goes and the prophet tells him to run his back against the underpart of the cradle of Imam Husayn. The angel does so and then his wings return. This is to signify the importance of Imam Husayn to Allah.
After this we went to Br S's class. We covers Qasr which is honestly very complicated. I cannot possibly remember all of that. What I don't get is if you travel over 28 miles (btw why 28?) and choose to do full prayers they are invalid because you HAVE to do Qasr. You then have to redo all of them in the Qasr form.....Huh? Qasr was designed so that when we are traveling around away from home it is easier to complete prayer but all these rules seem to defeat the purpose. I'll have to have My Love explain it to me.
The Sheik then taught the rest of the class and gave us a history on Mecca and the Bin Umayad. Basically how we ended up with the caliphs that lead to Yazed and Karbala. Fascinating but what really took the class was when he mentioned the outlaw of temporary marriage (Mu'ta) being a BAD thing. That some how temporary marriage prevents illegitimate children and prevents other vices from occurring. Now my personal opinion is this: A man should be able to go say 3 months without sex. DEAL WITH IT! Women cannot enter into temporary marriage because they are away from their husbands. A man can deal with not having sex! I sure wouldn't let my husband do it. Its absurd! This form is prostitution. The ladies got so fired up we are actually going to have a few full classes on the subject. I'll let you know what I learn.
Funniest part of the day: I had a conversation with My Love's father. At school. He came right up to me and was all "I didn't know you come here!" His father talks a lot so its hard to get a word in edgewise. He asked me if I would be taking my shahada soon and was all "Why not? You do your prayers, you wear hijab, you go to lectures you go to school. What more do you need?"
Me: Well I want to make 100% sure this is what is right for me its very important
Father: Well you are in Islam through the recommendation of my son, you need nothing else. (this was a joke for he laughed)
He then went on to talk about what a good man My Love is. And then about immigration and how annoying visas are, how My Love has been here since he was a baby and still can't get full citizenship. How he has been here for 30 years and still cant. On and on about immigration...not sure why. Then how hard it is to keep muslim children away from the corruptions of American society like alcohol which is why it is good to send them to a school like the one I go to, which is why he sent My Love and his siblings to this school. Then wanted to know why Christians drink alcohol....and I kinda got lost from there. I really don't know what he was trying to get at for he stopped suddenly and said "I'm heading to pray Maghrib, are you going to as well?" To which I said "no" and went home.
I'm really very confused....all I got out of it was My Love's father wants me to be muslim, wanted me to be aware of his son's difficulties with citizenship, his son is a great man....and alcohol is bad.
Oh what a day!
Posts
"What I don't get is if you travel over 28 miles (btw why 28?) and choose to do full prayers they are invalid because you HAVE to do Qasr."
ReplyDeleteIt's true that they are invalid but I don't think the miles themselves are that important. M and I see it as (and I remember Ayatollah Khamanei touching on this as well) 70 ks out of the city you live in. Well, he does. For me it's more like if you actually travel another place (e.g. 1 or 2 hours away) and stay there while the adhan has been called then you have to shorten the prayer, unless you're staying in that place for 10 days or more which would mean you pray the full prayers.
Confusing, isn't it >.< hahah.
And I agree with you. Men CAN go 3 months without sex and unless I see a man (or woman) having a certificate from a doctor, then I don't think that needing sex is an excuse to do mut'ah when you're already married.
Rules, rules, rules..blah! :-)
ReplyDeleteNo really, this was very interesting to me. I think it's funny that Your Love's father talked to you and asked if you were going to a prayer and you said 'no.' It's cute how he wants you to be a Muslim though I can understand that. You should tell him that alcohol is not forbidden for Christians. That's why many of them drink. (I never have though.) Drunkenness IS forbidden. It's all about moderation. Sounds kind of Islamic, doesn't it? :)
Oh, my Arab friend told me recently that men need sex. I was like I understand they strongly desire it and want it like all the time, but if you can live 24 years without sex, it's not like a NEED. Oxygen, yes. Water, yes. Food, yes. Sex - although desired - can be unfulfilled and you still live. So I would also be shocked to hear a sheikh say what that guy did today.
Argh! Stuff like that makes me irritated. Men should be disciplined!!
Thanks for sharing what you learned. Enjoyed it!
Ellen: LOL Qasr confuses me. My Love said all the Murjdas and Ahytollahs have different opinions on the subject. I figure if I am far enough away that it disrupts my routine I probably need to do Qasr.
ReplyDeleteSarah : I did tell him exactly that! I said Christians actually are forbidden to get drunk but most do not listen to that rule. This is part of the reason why it is all out forbidden in Islam, because most will ignore it :)
Both: 100% agreed. Men can live without sex and temporary marriage is not needed. Yes if a man has sex with a woman he is temo married to and the woman gets pregnant then yes she will at least know who the father is and the child will be cared for. So is it a little bit better than finding a random woman on the street? Yes. But is it NECESSARY? Answer: big fat NO. Just dont have sex! Its not that hard! Plus what wife would agree to allowing that?! Instead of having completely illegitimate children we have partically illegitmate children....not seeing the plus side. I would love to know where this rule came from since it seems 100% against the teachings of the Qur'an and the prophet. Multiple wives fine, but legalized 1 night stands? Cant see a prophet of God being ok with that. So where did it come from? Anyone actually know?
There were some comments on Ellen's post about temporary marriage that explain the legalities of it, which were quite interesting. A bit shocking though, for me. I wonder what the Islamic position on masturbation is? Cos surely that would be a better alternative to a temporary marriage for those men that "need" it! lol.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like maybe your Love's father was hinting that you would be welcomed as a daughter-in-law. Presumably marriage would solve the immigration issues which is possibly why he mentioned that. He is also probably encouraging you to convert.
So that is a good thing, that he is ready to welcome you! I hope it doesn't add to the pressure on you, though. My advice is take all the time you need. Something I unfortunately wasn't able to do because of more pressing immigration issues.
I never understood or agreed with the concept of temporary marriage. To me it seems very selfish and not what marriage is supposed to be about, i.e. love and protection between the man and woman.
ReplyDeleteWrestling with Religion: As far as I know, masturbation is not allowed except for in extreme cases. For example, if someone has a burning desire to have sex and are, for whatever reason, not able to get married, and know that they are going to commit zina (sex outside of marriage), then they are allowed to masturbate as a final resort (to prevent themselves from commiting zina). But this is only to be done out of true desperation. It is of course better to control one's desires and avoid masturbating even if one can't get married. Fasting is recommended to curb this desire.
I'm just confused on why the full prayers would be invalid if you'd traveled such and such a distance. If you travel and find yourself in a situation where you could pray the full prayers, why wouldn't you? Why is it better to pray the shortened version? *is confused*
ReplyDeleteThe temporary marriage thing...feh. If a man has *that* little control over his urges, he needs a psychiatrist. Seriously.
I find the conversation between you and Your Love's dad. Cute. 'Subtle' hinting about daughter-in-law status, perhaps? I think so.
Teehee Everyone thinks he was hinting! Except, of course, for his son who says his father says crazy things about immigration all the time lol My Love probably just doesnt want to get his hopes up. But I am glad he likes me and believes I am doing this for myself
ReplyDeleteAmber: I wish I could say why but I have no clue!
I guess he wouldnt like to get his hopes up... Im kinda the same to be honest about my situation.... I wont believe that I would be accepted as a daughter in law until its in my face!!!
ReplyDelete@wrestling with religion: Masturbation is forbidden is Islam
"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7 Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.
Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah's Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.
Although some say that it is acceptable in some circumstances, such as one fears committing adultery if he/she didnt, or to relieve sexual tension caused by stimulation.
Hope this helps!
Liz
Liz - I'll never understand any of it to be honest lol. I personally think some of these rules exist because Men dont want use their willpower. I just cant justify the temp marriage. I can justify the use of masterbation WAY before temp marriage. At least one stalls your sex drive without the possibility of disease or a child being born.
ReplyDelete'At least one stalls your sex drive without the possibility of disease or a child being born.'
ReplyDeleteBut you'll go blind! Or get hairy palms. One of the two....maybe both... ;)
Amber: ROTFL I wish I knew where people got those crazy superstitions.
ReplyDeleteHairy palms is probably along the same lines as when I tell my cats - if they demand too much food - 'If you keep eating like that, you're going to grow a curly tail.' In other words, you're going to become like a pig.
ReplyDeleteLast time I checked, the only creatures that have hair on their palms are non-human mammals. Who are for the most part not noted for their 'sexual purity' - I mean, since when are cats and dogs monogamous? - but at least since they are animals they are allowed to behave this way and they aren't sinning (which is why I put 'sexual purity' in quotes above).
The rules are apparently different for humans, who by the way when they forsake sexual purity often behave in ways that would not even cross the mind of a cat or a dog to do. So that telling someone they are acting like an animal is actually insulting... to animals ;)
I've always found it interesting that you're supposed to get hairy palms from masturbation, but also that hair in the middle of the palms is a 'sign' of werewolfism (and sometimes vampirism, depending on the mythology). And since werewolves are a manifestation of our darker, 'animalistic' desires, a symbol of lack of control, of the 'beast' that lives within all of us, I've thought that the connection between the two myths is evident. By masturbating, you're giving into the 'animal' part of yourself, the part that just wants to rut, and eat, and lacks control to know better. The same with werewolves, only to a far greater and more destructive degree.
ReplyDelete