Circle: An Islamic Culture

Sorry I've been a bit quiet, I haven't had much to say. But I thought I'd mention what was talked about in Circle since so many have been talking about culture. We discussed how to develop a new culture for our generation that combines the culture of the parents (or Eastern Culture), American Culture, and Islam. All of the youth present were very interested in finding a way to break down some of the un-Islamic practices of the Aunties and Uncles and to find a way to start emphasizing what Islam really says. All were interested in trying to stop the backbiting that is heavily present in the mosque. What I gathered from them was that in the Desi (Indo-Pakistani) community gossip is a huge problem. Its all people do at the mosque. And of course their was an interest in loosening some of the separation rules between the men and women that didn't exist in the prophet's time (complete separation, no conversations with opposite sex, not knowing your spouse at all before marriage etc). These are very cultural practices that history clearly states were not the only way to do things while Muhammad (as) was alive (everyone prayed together, he had conversations with women, the Prophet was friends with his wife first etc). There was also a great interest in breaking down the racism and prejudices present in different ethnic communities so the first generation could be more free to befriend and/or marry whomever they please. Yes, there are even some parents who won't let their kids have friends outside of their ethnicity much less outside of their school or religion. Its a big problem when trying to create unity and spreading a good image of Islam.

But how do you change the behavior of your elders when you are told to respect them? One young man brought up the verse about how you should obey your parents unless they are asking you to do something which is against your religion. Many of these elders are asking just that of the youth (backbiting, limits on marriage due to prejudice, barring the women from the mosque etc). Another suggested that you need to befriend someone who is more influential at the mosque and when you have a good idea respectfully suggest it to that person and then let that person suggest it to the community. They all agreed that we can't change the elders but we can slowly change the behavior so by the time we are the elders changes will have been made for the better of the second generation.

And we kinda had to stop there because it got really late.

What do you think, as first generation and converts and students/friends of Islam, we can do to improve the condition of the ummah and wipe out some of the un-Islamic things present in our communities today?

Islam 101: Dress Code

I haven't been holding out on all of you. Not a lot has happened at the school. But this past weekend we had a little discussion on dress code. And it didn't focus on us, it focused on the boys! I really thought he was going to go on and on about what women have to do but he never once mentioned our requirements. It was really refreshing. I get so tired of hearing men telling women what to wear and not to wear.

Br. S talked about how clothes reflect who you are as a person and you should dress how you want people to perceive you. Part of the purpose of hijab is to make sure we (men and women) are perceived in a positive light. One should always be clean, presentable, and ready to make a good impression. One should not choose clothes merely to attract attention or to present his or her self as a status symbol. That is haraam.

Your clothing directly effects your behavior. So does the media. Look at the kids who are into rap. They wear baggy pants belted at their thighs (how they can walk I do not know) with chains and over sized t-shirts. This person may not be a thug who wants to have some Courvoisier and get busy with the ladies but that is the impression you get because that is what the music promotes. You need to dress who you are, not what the media says is cool.

Gentlemen, you do have physical hijab. Now, a lot of it is recommended but still good to do. Do not go out shirtless and try not to wear shorts. It is better for you if you do not do these things. No tight closes, this is mandatory. No tight t-shirts or skinny jeans. Your jeans should be loose but you wouldn't want them tight anyway. Uncomfortable! When you are older, try to have a little facial hair as it is highly recommended for you. No big gold chains or flashy jewelry, leave the jewels to the ladies. Dress presentable at all times and you will be successful.

You need to dress as though you value yourself. If you do not respect yourself how can you expect others to respect you?

Islam 101: Day 11 - Death by Fiqh

Fiqh and Shariah Law have officially killed my love of Islam. Which is funny since I just finished the Qur'an 2 days ago and loved it.

I went back to school today. What a disaster. We finally got into the fiqh over the period and I lost it. First, the packet was incorrect. It stated that it was haram to touch a Qur'an and the name of Allah written in any language. That is false. You can totally read and touch an English Qur'an you just can't touch the name of God regardless of the language. I pointed this out to the teacher (we had a sub) who after reading it more carefully realized it was incorrect. Skip two bullet points down and it says its RECOMMENDED not to touch an Arabic Qur'an or recite. NOT HARAM, just RECOMMENDED. So right then they have their information all messed up.

I lost it when we got to it being haram to enter, sit, walk through, or pass a Mosque on your period. This does not include prayer rooms or centers. So, devils advocate that I am, asked her if a man had a continuously bleeding wound would these rules apply to him. She said no because period blood is dirty and different from all forms of other blood. Now in my readings I learned that it WOULD apply to men as well. I asked her why period blood is different because many of my readings said a woman is allowed to enter a mosque. The teacher began getting flustered and saying I am reading the wrong things and need to stick to Shariah. AKA she had no clue why its "more dirty" than other blood.

I had to try so hard not to cry from the frustration. I was perfectly fine when I had come to the conclusion that you were allowed to enter a mosque and the same rules would apply to a man. Now I'm being told they do not. Islam preaches constantly about how scientifically advanced it is. Well then muslims how have you not seen what a period actually is and how it is NOT dirtier than any other blood? There is no excuse for this with the science we have we now know what it actually is! These rules were made back when no one knew why a woman bled so it was foreign and considered bad. Now we know and these rules need to be revamped. And if a man can enter a mosque bleeding then a woman sure can!

I think I'm done with school, at least until the fiqh class is over. Its caused me so much stress and pain. But I'm also starting to think I might be done with Islam. I can't follow rules that don't make sense. Dogs being more najis doesn't make sense, rules of the period don't make sense, all music being haram does not make sense, hadiths often do not make sense.....I can't follow things that do not make sense. And these rules, these laws, have overshadowed all the things I love about the religion. You can't be muslim and ignore Shariah. So I'm pretty sure I am not going to be able to be muslim, even if I believe in the core aspects of the religion.

Answers to Najis

This is Sr. A's answer:

Regarding the dog's question, you need to just wash your hand for example. If it sits on your lap, you need to wash your dress or legs if it touch the dog. It is a difficult situation, because anywhere the dog sits or stands, is considered najis. You can sit on the same couch(which the dog sits on) for e.g. as long as you are not wet or the couch is wet, the same story is with the bed ....etc. Of course, also its hair , body fluids ...etc all are najis.

So you do have to be wet for you to have an issue with the dog. Or the dog has to be wet or the object the dog touched has to be wet. So I guess I dont see the issue then. The fur is najis which causes the main problem. If you are so much as moist and the fur comes in contact with you, you need to wash.

Cats are not najis, i know this for sure, that's why many muslims have them inside the house. I am not why? it is better than the dog? I am not a big fan of animals, so that's why I never had interest in them or knowing about them, but we can look it up :)) and learn.

Soooo my only conclusion can be that somehow cat meat is halal because they do gush blood. OR their fur is not najis like a dog is. Only their fluids which would pretty much never cause a problem. But I would think you should still pray in a place where there is no fur.

She gave me two reference websites: www.najaf.org and through the same website you can go to the link regarding the code of practice; http://www.najaf.org/all/index.php?l=ENG&c=code&to=COD

This rulings according to Ayatullah Al sistani.

The Hijabi Monologues

Brilliant. This play was amazing! And we only saw half of it!

The author came and performed 4 of the monologues from the show. They were so moving. I expected them to be about wearing a scarf but it was more about being a woman. One covered a muslim teen getting pregnant. Another having male friends who were her Hijabi Protectors. Another a football game in which one in a green niqab and another in a football outfit ran to find somewhere to pray during a game. And another angry at the world for hating on her. All true stories from muslim American women. Mash'Allah.

It moved me. It made me miss acting soooooo much (I was an actor for 7 years). I wanted back in the game when I saw how she moved the people with her message. All the good she did. Insha'Allah one day I will get the guts to contact them and audition to be part of the full length show. I would love to produce this here. Its a must see.

It should be on youtube so when it is Insha'Allah I will post it.

I got to take Sis with me to the show which was fun. We've never hung out before and it was really nice. Sr. N and Sr. Nina (my convert friend) came as well. It was so nice to hang out with the girls take pictures and walk around the campus. We even stopped by the prayer room to pray. I love hanging out with them. I love the muslim community. Every time I go to an event I feel so full of joy. I feel "this is what I need" when I am there. And it makes me wonder why I haven't taken my shahada. I remember of course my issues, and my mother, and thusly why I have not done so. But there are days where I wish I could just give in, take my shahada, and be muslim. This was one of those days.

Islam 101: Day 10 Fiqh for Women

I had tafseer again as usual. Don't have much to say on that since my Women's Fiqh class was WAY more interesting.

For the next 4 weeks Sr. A will be teaching all the girls Fiqh for women. Its fascinating and finally makes some sense! We are even going to get to why a period makes you impure and how to purify it. ROCK. So here is what I learned.

Fiqh is the law which comes from Shariah Law and thus from the Ulama not Muhammad. I have issues with Shariah mostly because it seems like there would be an easier way to explain things (ex you touch a pig you should wash your hands cause its a pig and they are always physically dirty). I will site what questions I am going to email Sr A for more clarification. They will be in light blue.

You have what is called Najis or impure items and creatures. There are different criteria that make them impure. Najasaat can make clean things unclean when touched. A dry najasaat does not make something najis, the item must be wet (Thus the wetness travels from the najis to the clean item). Lets say your hand touches blood. Blood is wet and travels onto your dry hand so your hand becomes najis. Lets say your hand is wet and you touch a pig that is dry the pig makes your hand najis. If the pig and your hand are wet the hand also becomes najis.

Q: Does a dog only turn your hand or clothing najis if he or your hand (clothes etc) is wet?

Some common Najasaat are: pigs, dogs, blood, urine and stool, dead bodies, and a kafir (by ruling of Sistani this refers to Atheists only). If one is not sure something is najis than one should assume it is NOT najis.

You have two kinds of cleaning for najis: Hadath and Kabath. Hadath is when you have to clean yourself, Kabath is when you have to clean an item. Niyyat (or intention) is only required when ghusl or wudu becomes necessary for the cleaning. Ex you just had sex with your husband and you go to do ghusl you must say before you start "I intend to purify myself through ghusl from sex" or something like that. Sex, touching a dead body, and your period are considered Big Hadath and require ghusl to be clean. Smaller ones such as falling asleep, using the bathroom only require Niyyat and wudu before prayer.

Kabath is when you only need to purify an item (your clothes, your hand etc). These do not require niyyat, ghusl, or wudu. You simply must wash the part of you that touched the najasaat. Examples are: Alcohol, a dog, blood, a kafir, cleaning a dead body, and semen. If any of these things touch you or get on you, you only have to clean the area of contact. Sr. A's example was if you say bite your lip you only need to wash your mouth out until the blood stops. No need to do ghusl or wudu.

Q: So if I were to own a dog and I pet him would I then only have to wash my hands? Or, because a dog is a higher level of najis, do I need to do ghusl?

Urine and stool, Semen and Dead Bodies

Urine and stool of any animal who's meat is haram and whose blood comes out with a gush is najis. However, Urine and stool of any animal who does not have BOTH these requirements is Pak (clean).

Ex: Dog meat is haram, dog's blood gushes dog is najis

Cow meat is halal, cow gushes blood cow is Pak

Snake meat is haram, snake blood does not gush, snake is Pak

Seamen: the semen of all human beings, and every animal whos blood comes out with a gush is najlis

Dead Bodies: all living things become Najis when they die. The dead body of a muslim becomes Pak after being given ghusl. A dead body does not become najis until after it has cooled.

Blood is najlis if it comes from an animal who's blood gushes. It is Pak if the blood does not gush.

Q: Why are things which gush blood najis?

Dogs, Pigs, and Kafirs are at a higher level of najlis to the extent that their fur, hair, teeth, nails, bones and even sweat are najlis.

Q: Why are dogs at the same level as a pig or a kafir?

We then discussed dogs. Sr A wanted to make it VERY clear that dogs are not inherently evil. That they are wonderful and she had one as a young woman in Iran and they loved their dog very much. He just lived outside or in the garage. The fur is an issue because it gets everywhere and dogs tend to bring in a lot of dirt. Your clothes gets full of hair and thus gets dirty. But we are to be very aware that there is nothing inherently bad about dogs, they just are extra dirty.

I think the Ulama just really didn't like dogs.

Q: If dogs are najis, cats should be too. And cats should be for similar reasons (aka fur, meat is haram, blood gushes). So why are muslims allowed to have cats and do not have to worry about their fur or stool being najis?

I will let you know what Sr A says.

Islam 101: Day 9

Sorry these aren't very exciting. We've been having a lot of tests so not much has been learned.

We did pray in a gym today. Downstairs they were holding a funeral so I got to see what its like to pray behind the men. Did you know they assign someone to lead the women as well? Why do we not do this when we pray normally! Half the time you can't see the leader in the mosque. I actually don't mind this format, it seems to make more sense. I'm a fan.

We talked about the Pope's fancy house. Sr. A was trying to teach us about how its not bad to have worldly possessions. That some scholars have fancy houses and some live in huts. Those that live in huts do so out of fear for what they may be held accountable for. Those who live in palaces also use their money for good but it is ok to enjoy your money. Then she brought up how the Pope has a gorgeous home and how beautiful the Vatican is. And she was all "See the Pope he is a God fearing man but he has a lot of lovely things. That does not mean he is not a good person. Although what he does with all that God only knows." She then asked me if the Vatican was always that fancy and I replied that although it has always been fancy it has accumulated donated wealth over the years. It is a product of many donations to the facility, as most churches of the olden days were. She then kept going on about how fabulous it was and how you can go up in the dome and see his house and the gardens. We are all required to visit the Pope if we ever head to Rome :).

Sr. A also offered to help me with my prayers. She thought I had converted because I learned to pray and I said no. Then she wanted to know who taught me and I said I taught myself with a little help from notes that were proof-read by a friend (My Love). And she said "Well I would love to help you, really I would." So I emailed her to see if the offer still stands. Hopefully it does. I learned a very elementary version of prayer, I'd like to learn the more traditional form so I don't get so lost at group prayer.

Islam 101: Day 8

Not much to say about today. We talked more about surah Naze'at 79 and the angels. We talked about how the work for Allah and their love for Allah. How each one performs different deeds. Some watch over the deeds of humans, some pull the souls at death, some bring revelation, some assist humans etc. All carry out Allah's will. They are really fascinating creatures, I just love learning about angels. My favorite Islamic idea with regards to angels is if you are at the end of a row while praying, an angel will pray next to you. How cool is that?!

Br. S's class was review. He and I ended up scolding the children for not knowing who He-man was. And for not having seen Ace Ventura When Nature Calls (don't ask). We got on a huge tanget about how the cartoons Br. S and I grew up with were so much cooler than the ones now. Thunder Cats, Batman the Animated Series. Common, no contest.

There is not now, nor shall there ever be, a better American animated series than Batman the Animated series. It just can't be done.

Anyway....

One of the local colleges is having an Islam week in a couple of weeks. One of my favorite speakers, Amar Nakshawani, will be speaking one of the days. There will also be a performance of the Hijabi Monologues. So excited.

I'm just so happy today. I feel like...you know when you are in love and you part for the evening and you feel that lightheaded happiness? That is how I feel, that is how I often feel after an Islamic event. Sometimes I feel this way a minute or two after prayer. What it means, I do not know but I am going to sit back and enjoy it.

Salaam!

Friday Circle #2

We discussed intentions today. How important good intentions are. We also discussed at great length sin and ighstikar (asking for forgiveness). A young man gave a beautiful speech about how we have to overcome the sins of our lives and we all have them . That we should repent to Allah as soon as possible. He told a story about Imam Jafar (as) and two men. One man came to him and said "I committed a huge sin" the other said "I committed many small sins". Both men wanted to know how to repent for these sins. Imam Jafar told the first man to bring back one large rock. He told the other to bring back many small rocks. Both men did as they were told and brought the rocks back to Imam Jafar. Then Imam Jafar said "Now go return the rocks to the exact place you found them". This was simple for the first man, but not so simple for the second. It is to represent how the little things add up and how we need to be just as mindful of our small sins and ask forgiveness as we are of our large ones.

I felt this weird sense today. I even got teary - eyed for no reason. I just felt so calm and settled. Hard ground beneath my feet. I know I have a ways to go but I really think I am going in the right direction. I think I might actually be happy, who knew? God willing, I will continue in the right direction.

And I came up with something I want to do because well I'm human and I can't completely separate myself from wanting to marry him. I need to have two weddings so I'd like to have two wedding bands made: One that fits under the engagement ring, and another on top. The first on the bottom or the first wedding, the second on the top. The ring becomes whole only after both ceremonies just like I won't feel 100% married till I celebrate with my family as well. I think its cute would help my mom to realize that both weddings are important to me.

Also, the re-remembrance of the days of Ashura have begun. Just like in a funeral, 40 days after the day of Ashura Shia's gather to remember the 10 nights and Imam Hussain (as).

Islam 101 : Day 7

Not much to report. I had a test so I have no history notes or anything today.

In tafseer we discussed Surah Naza'at 79. We spent pretty much all of class talking about the place of the angels in existence and what they do for God. Its funny, most of the ideas the Qur'an has about angels is in Christianity too. Sr. A kept asking me if Christians had this idea (guardian angels, Gabriel, Azarael etc) and I would say yes they have these concepts too. Angels have a huge legacy in Christianity, it was very interesting to hear the Qur'an speak of them. They are basically those that are created to only serve Allah, that they must in fact obey and carry out Allah's commands. There are angels for everything and if a person is a firm believer in God and does good deeds they will have a special one looking out for them (guardian angel).

Then we had prayer and Br. Bil talked about how we should always repent for our sins and praise God for His blessings upon us.

Then test, then home.

Sorry I'm not in a writing mood. Back is mad again.

Salaam

Friday Circle #1 - Wudu and Dhikr

I made it to the Islamic philosophical gathering last night. Of course, this was after running frantically around the city looking for somewhere to put on my scarf. I realized I am still terrified to be caught in a scarf by someone I know. I find that sad, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it at the time. It doesn't help that I'm having a major religion identity crisis, I don't feel like I should wear it while I'm so confused so that is probably why.

Anywho, I made to the lower part of the city and met up with Sr. N from school. The little mosque (Which is a converted apartment building) is in the center of an adorable Islamic neighborhood. They had abayas in their stores!!!! I'm so going back during the day and doing some shopping. They also had a lot of halal restaurants. YAY!

The first talk was on the importance of Wudu. I apologize, I don't remember a lot as my back was in severe pain and I forgot my notebook. She basically talked about how wudu is our preparation to have an audience with the Most High. When we pray, we are asking for an audience with Allah and we should be in the most pure and clear state we can be in out of respect for Allah. It's sort of like if you are going out to meet an important person the first thing you will do is make sure you are clean and well put together. Focused as well on what you will say to this person. We should use this same focus when asking for an audience with Allah. Wudu wakes us up to the task at hand and prepares us to speak to Allah in our purest of hearts and intentions.

Then we talked about Dhikr or remembering God. She talked about how everyday when we have a free moment we should remember the greatness of Allah. We should say "laillaha illallah" or "Subhannallah" or anything that calls to the greatness of Allah. This will keep us at peace throughout the day and remind us why we are here. The job of a muslim is to praise Allah at all times and to become as close to Allah as possible.

Then we discussed the talks (this is a male and female event) and other subjects related to being a faithful muslim. A lot of it went over my head as by this time I was in so much pain I couldn't concentrate. I remember the Sheikh who came talking about how we need to avoid some of the haram things by peacefully boycotting them. He mentioned that people only do what they are suppose to when they are being watched: for women he mentioned a wedding he went to where the woman did not wear hijab until he walked in the room and she threw a scarf on her head. For the men, only obeying traffic laws when a cop is present (What is with sheikhs being so obsessed with our scarves!?) He said that when you go to a wedding, you should leave if there is alcohol. I later learned from Sr. N that Shias aren't even allowed to sit at a table where alcohol is present. No wonder My Love's parents leave weddings when there is alcohol. Of course, he also mentioned music being haram but I've come to the conclusion all of it is not and I'm just not going to let it ruffle my feathers anymore. Allah knows what is in my heart and I will not believe it can all be bad when 75% of Christian worship is done is song.

On the way home, Sr. N and I talked about how Christianity and Islam are connected. And that the Catholics are the Shias of Christianity (so are, if you are Catholic you know what I mean). She actually did a paper on this comparison and she said what she loved about Catholicism was its use of ritual and how they paralellel a lot of Shia ritual. I had never thought about it before but its pretty true. Some of the thought processes are similar as well. She asked me my issue and of course I told her it was Jesus being God, and that if I was any Christian religion I'd be Unitarian at this point (turns out she had a friend who was a Unitarian and she totally agreed with me). She asked me about the Gospels and how they can be thought as truth. She actually believes though that muslims should read them since without Christianity there would be no Islam (Alhumdillah). And that is when I realized what the Gospels mean to me:

The Gospels are not about whether or not Jesus actually said these words. They are not about their "authenticity". They are not about who wrote them or when. What matters about the Gospels is their message, a message inspired by a truly great prophet. Their goodness and beauty outweigh the few things that seem out of place because the message of Jesus is still there. And that message, even in its imperfect form, is what makes it pure and Word of God. Subhanallah.

I also met a convert!!!!! She actually just texted me to say how nice it was to meet me and hopes to see me again soon and if I ever need to talk she is here. We will call her Nina. Nina has been muslim for a couple of years, from a Hindu family. She is strong, gorgeous, and full of personality. I hope she and I can become friends. I need someone like her.

All the women were actually quite lovely. I can't wait to get to know them

On a side note, my immediate family stopped drinking!!!! Alhumdillah! Mostly for health reasons but still, I find that fantastic.

Islamic History: Events to Karbala Part Two

My test is Sunday (AHHH!) so typing this is helping me study. Again, apologies if they don't make a lot of sense.

Changes made by Muawiya

1) Martyrdom of Imam Hasan

2) Martyrdom of Imam Ali

3) Responsible for the death of Abu Bakr

4) Responsible for the death of the Shahaba

5)Death of Hazarat Hujah

Hujah was very close to the prophet. He often stood up for the Ahlul Bayt with his elegant tongue. Of course Muawiya wanted to get rid of him so he sent for him to be brought to his palace. Muawiya says he will give Hijah half his kingdom if he will curse Imam Ali. Hujah says not even if you gave me your whole kingdom will I defile the name of Imam Ali. He and his sone are taken to their death and Hujah says "Kill my son first so he will be unable to curse the name of Imam Ali to save himself." They kill the son, then Hujah.

Muawiya was a fan of poison. It was discrete and underhanded. Both Imam Hasan and Imam Ali were killed by poison (Ali was with a poisoned tipped sword).

Yazid

Was not present at the death of his father, he was on vacation. Muawiya's advice to him was to use Syria as his base and let the people change the governor as much as they wish.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, kill Imam Husayn. Muawiya was aware that if his son did this, the power would tilt in the Ahlul Bayt's favor.

3 personalities of importance in Mecca that Yazid is to collect acceptance into power:

1)Imam Husayn

2)Abdullah Ibn Zubayr

3)Abdullah Ibn Umar

Yazid knows he can't do this on his own and calls Madawan a man removed from Medina by Muhammad for his trechery and underhanded doings. It was Uthman that actually let him back into the city after the prophet's death.

The men are confused by the letter and ask Imam Husayn for advice. They know, without even being told, that Muawiya must be dead. Imam Husayn says to sit on it for a bit. They wait, but more and more letters pour in saying the people have sided with Yazid. He decides to go with the other 2 men and brings a group of followers with him. He positions them outside the door of the palace and says "if I raise my voice, enter with your swords drawn."

Madawan says he is here to take the oath of allegiance from Husayn. Husayn tells him very plainly that no one will ever believe it is true. He raises his voice and the men come in to protect him. They agree to set up an event in Mecca for it s a safe haven. You cannot kill in the holy city of Mecca.

3 Powers of Imam Husayn

1) Hazarat Muslim Ibn Aquil

2) Abbas Ibn Ali

3)Muhammad Hanafiya (he later becomes the advisor of Imam Zayn ul Abdeen)

The third Betrayal by Kufa:

In Mecca, Imam Husayn gradually receives letters from Kufa, more and more people saying they need his help to stop Yazid. That he needs to come to Kufa. So he sends Muslim to Kufa.

Meanwhile, Yazid sends Ubaydullah Ibn Ziyad with an army of 500 to Kufa to take control. While there, Ubaydullah observes the muslims especially those hiding Hazarat Muslim. Muslim lays siege to the palace of the governor where Ubaydullah is staying. But Ubaydullah is crafty and goes to his connections in the tribes and says "Take this flag and go out into the city. Stand with it and tell your families that whoever comes to stand beneath this flag will not be tried for treason.

This works in Ubaydullah's favor so well, Muslim is left alone. He is captured and brutally killed.

Islam 101 : Day 6

Today was full of information. Sr. A is back so we had a real class in the morning! We discussed the first 8 verses of Surah Nazat 79. Its oddly similar to Revelation. It discusses how the angels come and remove your soul at death. If you are a good person, it will be easy and pain free. If you are a bad person it will be very painful. We got on a tangent about how Allah would be able to bring us all back to life from mere dust into the world for judgement. They all had issues with this. They needed it to mean that we will literally be made flesh and put back on this earth to be judged. The teachers were trying to explain to them that Allah can do as he wishes, that we don't know for sure what will happen but they couldn't wrap their heads around it. It reminded me so much of the Book of Revelation, I believe there is a passage that discusses how the world will no longer be the world be know and the laws of nature will no longer apply. I really wanted to say something but I kept my mouth shut. I'm not sure if bringing up the Bible in a Qur'an class is a good idea. I'm going to try to read Revelation before next Sunday and if they start on it again, maybe I can give them an answer they better understand. These kids want everything to be so literal and the Apocalypse cannot be understood in literal terms. Its beyond our full comprehension. You have to accept that we do not know the reality of the End of Days.

Prayer was good. I'm a little rusty having been off for 5 days but it went ok. Br. Bil gave a talk about avoiding sin and how it is harder to do than good deeds (totally agree). He then started listing things and asking the kids if they were halal or haram. And in my head I'm going "Oh no, don't do what I think you are going to do." He started with McDonalds down the street. Haram. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Haram. Music. Haram WAIT WHAT! Was the response of the entire room which started yelling "Only some, only some!" I thought Sr. A was going to get up and yell at him she was so mad saying "He knows better than to do that! The all music issue is cultural! He should not be teaching the kids that." Br. Bil had to think quickly and change the subject before a riot broke out. That is the one thing that bothers me about Br. Bil; he often imposes his own personal views (Christians being unbelievers, music is haram) on the children. Mash'Allah the children have been taught well enough to argue back :).

And on to Br. Bil and Br. N's class. I will post the history notes separate later. Today we discussed Backbiting or Gheeba. There are two kinds of backbiting: talking behind someone's back but saying a true thing and talking behind someone's back saying a false thing. Both are bad for that person because they are not there to defend themselves. Br. Bil interjected and tried to get into the different rules which apply to backbiting with muslims and non muslims. Why there is a difference I'm not sure since I personally think we should be nice to everyone. The difference though is that you are required to attempt to stop another muslim from backbiting; you are not required to stop a non muslim. He did not go into detail on this so I looked it up later and the reasoning basically is because a muslim does not have the right to tell a non muslim what to do in this case. And in their case you should just avoid the backbiting they are producing. The only time backbiting is allowed if it is to save someone from danger ex "Sister, I saw so and so get pick pocketed by that man on the corner. Please be careful going home." I am talking about the man on the corner, it is a true negative, but it was done to save Sister from harm.

I also learned that a couple years ago someone taught this topic of backbiting all wrong and it caused fights to break out both at the Islamic school and at the kid's academic schools. I'm not very clear on the details but it seems that they all started to constantly correct each other or tattle because it could "cause harm". They had also been taught that it was ok to backbite Christians which caused a frenzy at their schools. Somehow, from the previous teacher, they had gotten the impression that this rule only applies to muslims. Guess what it applies to EVERYONE. Even polytheists. The prophet greatly disliked backbiting, made it an even bigger sin than adultery. If the world could avoid backbiting, it would be a much nicer place.

A quote from Imam Ali " The distance between Heaven and Hell is four fingers." The distance between your eye and your ear is four fingers. Your eyes and ears can both tell you the truth, and trick you at the same time.

I got to see Sr. N after her long trip. She has invited me to a 20 something muslim philosophy gathering on Fridays. There are suppose to be a lot of converts there, I really hope to attend. They will discuss a topic and open it up to the floor to get a lot of opinions. Fascinating.

Tawaf un Nisa Update

Hi all,

Turns out my teacher doesn't know :) I will try to get the info on this. He had just about as much luck looking up information on the topic after he went to Hajj as I have. Apparently, it is not often explained. Br. S did say he would try and find the answer when he got back into town.

I will find it for you and answer the mystery! Cause I gotta know how I suddenly would become non-maharam to my (Insha'Allah) future husband. I would so not want to make that mistake.

Islamic History: Events to Karbala Part one

By popular demand this is what I am learning in school. My notes from Day 4 and 5 of my Islamic history class. We are studying the events that lead up to Karbala and the day of Ashura.

Sorry if they dont make a lot of sense. This is my first time hearing all these events.

And yes if you don't know by now this is a Shia school :) Lets break it down.

400AD

Qusay - Great Grandfather of Abu Mutalib comes to fix the Kaab'a and organize the people of the city. His son is Abd Manaf who has a son named Hashim. This is where the Bin Hashim come from.

The family of the Umaya challenge Hashim for control, but they do not obtain it.

This put into place the Bin Hashim and their knowledgable group used to break down conflicts. Out of this family comes Abu Mutalib and his sons Abudullah, Abutalib, Abbas, and Hamza.

The Umayas

Abu Sufyan - well known in Mecca as a leader of the city and not a fan of Muhammad's message for it purposes a threat to his status. Muhammad preaches no usury which is his main source of income.

Hind - Abu Sufyan's wife. She claims her family was killed by Imam Ali. She lead to the birth of Muawiya father of Yezed.

A treaty is produced between the pagans and the muslims of mecca saying the will not attack each other for 10 years.

The issue of what happened when Umar was put into power as Caliph:

1) He pushed Abu Bakr into power before he was ready

2) He eliminated Temporary Marriage and Tanaf un Nisa (I still dont know what this is)

3) Brought the Bani Umayah to power

Temp marriage being band is considered bad because it led to more illegitimate children. Children were not considered illegitimate if the woman knew the father for sure. (Obviously I don't agree with this.)

Part 2

Caliphrates

Abu Bakr - 3 yrs

Umar - 10 yrs

Uhman - 12 yrs

Imam Ali - 4yrs 9 months

Imam Hasan - 10 yrs

Muawiya - 19 yrs

What is the issue - money becomes more important than anything. Zakat was forced under the rule of Umar. Uthman became the puppet of Muawiya. He did one good thing: he established a good relationship with the Christians in the surrounding area. Muawiya already considers himself KING of the empire and chastises the Alhul Bayt (family of the prophet)

Muawiya wants Uthman out so he causes an upraising in Medina over Uthman and his practices. Uthman is attacked in his home and sieged. Muawiya could have saved him but does not and the people kill him in his palace.

After Uthman, the people beg Imam Ali to be their leader as they are tired of how everything has gone downhill. They want someone to build back the integrity of the Caliph. Imam Ali reluctantly accepts. But he refuses to accept any changes to the religion made by the previous caliphs. Muawiya is terrified he will loose his status.

Battle of the Camel

One in a place of authority Imam Ali sends a representative to Muawiya and asks him to step down. Muawiya instead captures the man and holds him for 3 months. He sends the man back with embarrassing rumors that Imam Ali murdered Uthman. Then, Muawiya prepared an army of 80,000 to take Iraq.

Battle of Sifeen

Companions of Imam Ali - Ammar Ibn Yasir, Abdullah Ibn Abbas, Malik Ashtar

Muawiya's army stops the battle during the month of Muharram. They want an impartial representative to rep Imam Ali's side and the people, influenced by Muawiya and their unwilingness to fight, want to send Abu Jafar. Imam Ali thinks this is a horrible idea and wants to send Malik Ashtar. But he sends Abu Jafar and Abu Jafar accepts everything he is told by Muawiya. And a treaty is made at the Battle of Sifeen.

1st Betrayal of the Ahlul Bayt by the people of Kufa:

Forced Imam Ali into a truce with Muawiya

Attacking Egypt - Imam Ali sends Malik Ashtar to Egypt but is poisoned on his way. Muawiya appoints Amr ibn A-as as governor of Egypt. He was not a good man and was an illegitimate child (apparently, according to my teacher, this automatically makes you a bad person. Didnt sit well with the class I can tell you that. He eventually had to admit that just because you are illegitimate does not mean you are condemned. Silly Br. Bil. Although illegitimate children are not allowed to lead prayer. And none of these rules were made by the prophet btw)

Imam Ali is martyed and Imam Hasan takes over.

2nd Betrayal

Imam Hasan has to give over the Caliphate to Muawiya

Imam Hasan goes with the army of Kufans to fight Muawiya and they trick Imam Hasan and cause disention in the army. They want to make peace with Muawiya so they do not have to fight. One of his own soldiers attacks Imam Hasan and rumor gets out that Imam Hasan cannot control his men. He looses his support. Makes a treaty and gives over the caliphate under the condition that Muawiya can never select a successor. It must return to the Bin Hashim.

As Muawiya ages he realizes that he must do away with Imam Hasan to break the treaty. He goes to Imam Hasan's wife Joda and says he will marry her to Yezed, who shall be king by his order, and give her a lot of money if she were to kill her husband. She does so but Muawiya refuses saying "I will give you money. But I love my son too much to let you marry him. You killed your husband, who says you will not do it again?"

End of notes.

Islam 101: Day 5

Not much happened in school today. Sorry no exciting discussions with My Love's dad.

Nothing got done in my first class. NOTHING. We were suppose to be covering Surah 91 (The Sun) but I think we only got to line 8 and we started with line 7. The boys spent way too much time asking stupid questions and Br. N was half an hour late. He talks WAAAAY too much too. Nice guy, but he is like that boy in high school that most of the girls want but that I found annoying due to his arrogance. Sr F and I almost up and left except it was so funny we stayed for the whole thing.

Then we went to prayer. Sr. F decided she would quiz me on my arabic. Turns out, I recite the two surahs for the first and second rakat almost perfectly! She was very surprised and thought perhaps she too needs transliteration. She also taught me how to use prayer beads which work almost exactly like a rosary. I now want some. And a prayer rug because praying on a blanket, although comfortable, is hard because it slips. I'm so going to crash on my head one of these days.

I also learned something so cute! Sr. F said "I always like to pray on the ends because at each end of the row there is an angel praying so if I pray at the end of the row I get to pray next to an angel!" HOW CUTE I also think its just such a lovely concept.

The second class was also all over the place. Br S was out so Br N took over. He talked about Nufs. But he didn't get very far because the boys kept asking stupid questions. So Br. Bil took over.

Yes in fact it turns out the Sheik is NOT a Sheik. He just dresses like one LOL. He is just a very knowledgible brother. He will be brother Bil.

Br. Bil talked more about the history of Karabala and what happened once Imam Ali was Caliph and how screwed up things got due to Umar. I mean these guys really let Muawiya push them around, and they seemed to have such good intentions. Like Abu Bakr had great intentions but he only stayed in power for 3 years. And after that it just got way worse. What a mess! This is why you don't mix religion and government. One person, unless he is a prophet, simply cannot handle both. I really wonder what would have happened if Abu Bakr had taken control of the government and Ali the religion and then they worked together. Maybe it would have been a better place. I wanted to ask him about Abu Bakr, Umar,Uthman deciding to compile the Qur'an (Imam Ali helped) but I figured that would start world war III so I didn't. Most Shias believe Imam Ali did it on his own.

Sister F said something so nice today. She said "You are so lucky. You get to find Islam" She has said this before. She feels that I am lucky because I have a clean slate with the religion and get to be lead to God by finding my religion instead of accepting what I was born into. I agree with her. I am grateful to God every day for this journey. It may be hard, but I am blessed without having any preconcived or taught ideas about Islam. I came in with a clean slate and thus have a better chance of seeing the religion for what it is. I can almost guarentee that someone who was not born Catholic can see a great deal more about Catholicism than I can because I was born into a family who taught me their own interpretations and ideas. That is hard to escape and makes studying Christianity difficult for me.

I also got a book from brother A called Philosophy of Islam and it is by two of the Ayatollahs. Its really good so far.

Islam 101: Day 4

Today was....interesting :)

Sr. A was out of town so I got put in a class with the crazy 12 yr old boys from my class with Br. S. We were attempting to do tafseer but the boys couldn't get past how the moon relates to the sun relates to the earth. The Ayat was something about the sun and its light shining on the moon as she waits. Lets just say I got nothing out of that class.

I finally prayed with everyone! It was really a beautiful experience. I barely needed my directions because I could follow along with all of them. I felt this nice warmness, it was soothing and calming. Yeah there were a few times I was lost like I didn't realize after the salutation and 3 Allahu Akbars you shake hands with the people next to you. That is nice though, peace be upon your neighbors and all is a good gesture. I really did enjoy the group prayer, I want to find out when the mosque does Maghrib and Isha to see if I can try to make it at least once or twice a week. Insha'Allah I can ask Br. S.

We also have a guest Sheik with us for a few weeks. He talked a little bit about the importance of Imam Husayn (May Allah Be Pleased With Him). He told the story of the angel who lost his wings and was sent to beg for forgiveness on an island. He then saw Jibreel (Gabriel) flying overhead and found out later that Jibreel was going to greet the grandson of the prophet, Imam Husayn. The angel asks if he can come with and beg the prophet to intercede on his behalf. He goes and the prophet tells him to run his back against the underpart of the cradle of Imam Husayn. The angel does so and then his wings return. This is to signify the importance of Imam Husayn to Allah.

After this we went to Br S's class. We covers Qasr which is honestly very complicated. I cannot possibly remember all of that. What I don't get is if you travel over 28 miles (btw why 28?) and choose to do full prayers they are invalid because you HAVE to do Qasr. You then have to redo all of them in the Qasr form.....Huh? Qasr was designed so that when we are traveling around away from home it is easier to complete prayer but all these rules seem to defeat the purpose. I'll have to have My Love explain it to me.

The Sheik then taught the rest of the class and gave us a history on Mecca and the Bin Umayad. Basically how we ended up with the caliphs that lead to Yazed and Karbala. Fascinating but what really took the class was when he mentioned the outlaw of temporary marriage (Mu'ta) being a BAD thing. That some how temporary marriage prevents illegitimate children and prevents other vices from occurring. Now my personal opinion is this: A man should be able to go say 3 months without sex. DEAL WITH IT! Women cannot enter into temporary marriage because they are away from their husbands. A man can deal with not having sex! I sure wouldn't let my husband do it. Its absurd! This form is prostitution. The ladies got so fired up we are actually going to have a few full classes on the subject. I'll let you know what I learn.

Funniest part of the day: I had a conversation with My Love's father. At school. He came right up to me and was all "I didn't know you come here!" His father talks a lot so its hard to get a word in edgewise. He asked me if I would be taking my shahada soon and was all "Why not? You do your prayers, you wear hijab, you go to lectures you go to school. What more do you need?"

Me: Well I want to make 100% sure this is what is right for me its very important

Father: Well you are in Islam through the recommendation of my son, you need nothing else. (this was a joke for he laughed)

He then went on to talk about what a good man My Love is. And then about immigration and how annoying visas are, how My Love has been here since he was a baby and still can't get full citizenship. How he has been here for 30 years and still cant. On and on about immigration...not sure why. Then how hard it is to keep muslim children away from the corruptions of American society like alcohol which is why it is good to send them to a school like the one I go to, which is why he sent My Love and his siblings to this school. Then wanted to know why Christians drink alcohol....and I kinda got lost from there. I really don't know what he was trying to get at for he stopped suddenly and said "I'm heading to pray Maghrib, are you going to as well?" To which I said "no" and went home.

I'm really very confused....all I got out of it was My Love's father wants me to be muslim, wanted me to be aware of his son's difficulties with citizenship, his son is a great man....and alcohol is bad.

Oh what a day!

Muharram Lecture 12/20/09

I made it to the lecture tonight thanks to My Love's family giving me a ride. I ended up riding over with just him, his father, and brother. His mother went over early for the women's lecture (that I didn't know about!) and his sister was at work. Only one thing can discribe sitting in the car with My Love and his dad waiting for his brother.

awkward

I get really shy in front of My Love when his family is present. I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever (It was probably 5 minutes) waiting for his brother. His brother hopped in the car and said

"Oh hi, how you doing?"

To which his father lectured him on how I got in the car and said "salaam aleikum" and he said "how you doing" and how he could learn from me to greet more properly. His dad cracks me up :)

We get there and they are in formation about to start Maghrib and Isha. I don't want to interupt so I sit to the side instead of joining in. Everyone was in prayer garments and I didn't understand why until prayer ended and I saw what people were wearing. What is up with this mosque!? Most of the women did not have scarves on, many of the young ones in fitted clothing. I don't know why this bothers me but it does. You know you are going to go to the mosque at least put a scarf on and leave it there! Oh well, Insha'Allah they will learn proper mosque edicate eventually.

So I sat down before they started the first cycle of Muharram prayers (I know they have an actual name but I don't remember what it is) and accidentally sat right next to My Love's mother. She was actually pretty excited to see me, even hugged me. Mash'Allah My Love has such a lovely mother. Isha'Allah she will still like me when he proposes.

Our speaker came from Britan and first talked about the importance of knowledge and how we must strive to gain it. How Islam is based on aquiring knowledge and about rational thought. That we as human beings have the gift of being able to comtemplate and we should use it frequently. He then told the story of Yusuf (Joseph) and how Yusuf strove against harsh oppositions to serve God. Especially how Yusuf was able to resist the temptations of Zaliha and the women, holding true to his beliefs.

He then segwayed to the story of Muhammad's journey into Hell with Jibreel. I wasn't entirely sure how this fit since he quite abruptly began to talk about punishment. I sort of got turned off by his talk when he mentioned the hadith of the women being hung by their hair and the people by their ears. The hair represents those who do not wear hijab and the ears those who listen to music. Um yeah, don't agree. Aparently a lot shared my sentiment for their were many women rolling their eyes at his interpretation. I always thought they meant the women who do not observe hijab (Modesty and self respect) and those who do not listen to the teachings of the prophets. But hey, I'm no Sheikh what do I know.

He turned it around by going back to knowledge and talking of the strives of the people at Karbala. How Hoor struggled to do the right thing and join Imam Hussein, knowing he would die in the process. And about br. Abbas who went to great lengths to get water for the thirsting children.

Then we went into the recitations for this day of Muharram. They did the recitations first in arabic then in english. However, I have learned that you do not necessarily need to be able to understand arabic to understand what is being said. I knew what was going on, what they were talking about because I knew the story of Karbala. And I stood, taping my chest as they do, and watched the women. These women, all silent even the littlest ones, moved by the speeches given by these brothers. Some moved to tears, I was almost moved to tears but feel I do not have the right to cry since I am not muslim. These women felt so deeply for their brother in Islam, so saddened for the horrible trial he and his family faced. Imam Hussein isn't even a prophet but because he saved Islam from corruption and suffered greatly they morn for him. It was so beautiful. Its what Good Friday and all of Lent should be like for Christians, yet I've never seen a Christian cry in the church. I've gotten a little teary but that is not the norm. Here, it is normal to cry and these women truly feel such sorrow. This devotion, this belief, is so intensely moving and beautiful. I understand now why My Love says that Ashura would be too much for me.

Something else happened tonight. I'm not sure what it was. I was listening to the prayers, can't remember exactly what recitation, and I began to thank God for how easy he has made this for me. That I have the resources I have, a man who loves me, and he has a kind family. And I felt like something hit me in the head so to speak. Like a light bulb going off. A moment of clarity. Something clicked and in my head I went "I think this is it. Islam may be exactly what I need." And a peace rolled over me for a few minutes. I wanted to cry but I didn't. It was over very quickly I have no idea what that was. I had a migraine all night and it was the only moment when it stopped. I don't know what to do with this, but I do know i need to speak to my mother when I am home. It may be my last chance before I make up my mind.

Islam 101: Class Cancelled :(

No classes this Sunday....sadness. But I may attend a lecture tomorrow on Muharram if it doesn't get cancelled too.

Stupid snow.

On another note I started reading "Jesus: Prophet of Islam" today. Fascinating, I already recommend it and I'm only a chapter in. The author spent most of his career gathering research so he could right this book. Its amazing, recommended for both Muslims and Christians.

Guess I will try to finish more of the Qur'an....and work on developing my post using the data from my previous post "What Makes A Religion Right For Someone?" But I need more data so I'll probably just leave it for now.

Sad face I wanted to go to class.

Islam 101: Day 3

I am having a "bad religion" day. You know, those days where you only see negative and everything seems hopeless not to mention too difficult. Not a good day for school.

I had tafseer first, and as I explained in the previous post we covered verses 1-7 of Surah Bin'Israel. I was so glad I brought my Qur'an that has the transliteration. They do everything in Arabic. But what is odd about that is I'm pretty sure the two boys (who were sitting in because there teacher did not show) really didn't understand the surah in arabic, even though they could read it. Luckily, Sister A had me read it in English out loud after they read it in Arabic which seemed to help the discussion. I also got to hear Sister A recite. So beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. What a blessed talent she has. But it made me wonder: Are women not allowed to recite? The girls never read the Du'as, only the boys.

Then we had prayer. I now have prayer directions written out line by line so I can follow along. They worked great for Dhur but not so good for Asr. In Asr, instead of saying "Subhannallah, Subhannallah, Subhannallah" they said something that went "Subhannallah something something Muhammad". I was so confused. And then there were extra du'as and they didn't end either prayer with the 3 Allahu Akbars. I was so lost and frustrated. They also go REALLY fast. I can't even read the page that fast! It makes prayer look so hard, I'm not sure I will be able to get it.

After prayer, we congratulated a seven year old boy for completeing the Qur'an for the first time. Mash'Allah how wonderful for him at such a young age. Alhumdillah, he read the du'a for completing the Qur'an in arabic so beautifully. Then he recited in english just as well. It moved me to see this little boy so enthralled and dedicated to his religion. At seven, he has read his holy book. I don't even know any other Christians besides myself who have read their holy book. And at seven this young boy has completed such an amazing task. May Allah bless him and his efforts.

Br. S's class consisted of a test which I could not take. It was so embarrassing I knew nothing! I was amazed by the students during the test. They take their classes so seriously. You would not see students taking CCD classes so seriously. These kids studied and actually care if they get the answers right. Its amazing to see how important their faith is to them even in their teens when it is usually the most unstable. I want faith to be that important to my child. I want being religious to be encouraged, not discouraged.

I then met up with Sister N at lunch. We talked about all sorts of things. I have come to learn a few things:

Many find art being haram absurd

Many find not all music to be haram. It being haram has to do with context and content which I 100% agree with. If the music promotes haram actions or makes you want to booty shake with a man on a dance floor, it is most likely haram.

Many agree that hijab is a process or trial and error. You will not be perfect at it right away and that it would be really difficult to try to wear hijab in a office if you had previously been working there. Allah appreciates your efforts and good intentions.

She told me a story of her friend who was Hindu but converted to Islam. She didn't tell her parents till she converted and the results were terrible. They teased her, shunned her, were awful to her. She worked at a family business and they were always trying to get her to take off her hat (she used hats so they wouldn't suspect her) or to dress less modest. Finally, because she could not take it, she quit her job. Later, her family called, apologized, and hired her back. Sister N told me this story to show she agreed that allowing your parents to get use to the concept of converting gradually is much better than dumping on them all at once. Insha'Allah she is right.

I'm not feeling as much of an Iman high right now. I'm feeling really unsure at the moment. I dunno what to do. I also think I'm worrying about whether or not I can do this if I don't get married. I think a friend's situation is making me worry about this and its clouding the good stuff. I just don't know if I could do this without his constant support. With his support gone, it could be nearly impossible. And there is always a chance his parents will freak and he will not stand up for me. Nothing I can do then but hope I definitely made the right decision; because in an event like that, I'm totally on my own.

I just have to wait. There was a lot of talk today about Allah being the best of planners. How we need to do our part, work our hardest, try our hardest, and leave the rest up to Allah. Now, you know I believe a lot happens at random but I do think there are some things that are ultimately up to Allah. My choice is up to Allah, I must wait for Him to tell me what to do. I must continue to study, to try hard, and hopefully soon Allah will reward me with an answer. Insha'Allah it will be one that allows me to be happy, full-filled in religion, and marry my My Love.