Yes you heard me right, I’m keeping Christmas. Christmas will not mean the same thing to me as a muslim but I need to keep it for a few reasons.
As a muslim, Christmas is about celebrating your family and friends. By giving gifts you show the other person you appreciate them and care for them. It’s a lovely guesture of good will. It can also still be Jesus’ birthday. Nothing wrong with saying “Happy Birthday Jesus” even if its totally at the wrong time of year. I just won’t be celebrating the birth of God’s son/God born on earth. I also will not be attending mass unless I can sit in the back and just watch.
I have to come home to celebrate Christmas. My refusal to come home or acknowledge Christmas would be grounds for disownment by my parents. They would say I am denying my upbringing and my culture. They would also take it as a deep person insult. Obivously, none of these things are worth taking a stand against Christmas.
Also, I just love Christmas. It’s happy and colorful. I get to see all my extended family that I never see otherwise. I get to buy gifts for people which I LOVE. It’s a beautiful time of year about peace and joy.
I worry about when I have children with Christian grandparents. Eid will never be as cool as Christmas and my parents might want to do Santa Claus. I suppose I would tackle that when it came.
There are a few things I will have to cut out though. The decorations that cannot be considered winter will have to go. Luckily, I don’t have religious decorations or Santas. The hardest will be the tree. I’m use to having it and I have so many beautiful ornaments including a 20+ year collection of Peanuts ornaments. I love my tree. Its warm and beautiful and reminds me of my childhood. I asked my Love about it and although he likes the tree he thinks it would be inappropriate. I warned him that I will have to replace Christmas with something and that something will be Eid ul Fitr. He said that was fine as long as I didn’t try to put up an Eid Tree. I will have to keep a tree around though just in case my parents visit during December. They will still expect me to have a tree. The reaction to not having one could be horribly damaging.
So the question is: How can you adopt some Christmas traditions into Eid and what do you do with all that Christmas stuff? Here are a few suggestions:
1) Ramadan Calendar – Many of us had those awesome Advent calendars with the chocolate. For Eid ul Fitr 2010, I plan to make a cloth Ramadan calendar with pockets. I know that Ramadan can vary in how long it is so I will make the max number of pockets and pin a little moon with a star to the day for Eid. That allows the day to change. I will have some sort of marker to move pocket to pocket and fill the pockets with dates to break the fast. I think it will be super cute. A great idea if you have children.
2) Donation Box – Want something to decorate? Make a donation box. Decorate the box however you like. You can then do the following: Add the money into it you would normally spend on lunch, put all your change to accumulate through Ramadan into the box etc. It will be fun and then you can donate the money to a good cause. Another great idea if you have children.
3) Ornaments – what to do with them. Well you could use them as Eid decorations if they are just colored balls. Otherwise, if you have a collection like I do get a cabinet with a glass door and display them all year round. Or you could give them to family members or a good cause.
4) The tree – There isn’t much you can do with a tree. My tree is only 1.5 feet tall so I am going to turn it into a cute all year round decoration with some birds and cloth to hide the base.
5) Decorations that are more winter themed should be permissible. Just make sure they aren’t too christmasy.
6) I know it is not traditional to give gifts for Eid. I will, however, be doing so. I love giving presents, I figure no one will object.
7) I will still give gifts to my family. Christmas will be about celebrating them and my friends. I will no longer expect to get gifts though which makes me sad. I look forward to my Christmas check. I could see my mother withholding that from me after my conversion.
8) Many churches have something called a giving tree which has names of people in need and a list of what they need. Ask your mosque or local center to contact a shelter and see if they can get a list of people who need. People need help more than once a year after all.
So those are some suggestions and things I would do.
Any more suggestions? Anyone have any advice about dealing with Christian family members and Christmas as a muslim?
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im keeping christmas. It has bewcome just as much Moheeds culture as mine! he goes out for xmas meals etc. Another point you may like is that the christmas trees are also used in Jewish communities as Hanukkah Bushes.... It is becoming more and more widespread. It was used to mean new life... which in the end means that it is just as much a muslim fit decoration as anything... and it was also a pagan idea... as most of Christian celebration is!
ReplyDeleteYou have some great ideas!
ReplyDeleteI too feel that goodwill to my family/spending time with them is more important than any of the arguments I hear against having anything to do with Christmas. No-one is going to coerce me to sing carols or anything. I don't know why some Muslims get so up in arms about it frankly. In the grand scheme of things, how big a deal is it?!
I am kind of in the same boat. Since my conversion is still a secret, I will have to participate in everything my family does for it, including going to church on Christmas Eve. I am willing to do all this to keep the peace; if I didn't they would obviously become very suspicious and things would be on a downward spiral from there. Since I'm still at school I am able to avoid participating in festivities, although I must admit that it is difficult. What makes it especially difficult is that my favorite part of Christmas was the actual religious aspect of it. I loved singing the religious carols, lighting Advent candles, reading the Christmas story in the Bible, and going to the Christmas Eve service (whenever we got around to singing "Silent Night" holding our candles in the dark sanctuary I always started crying from sheer inner peace; this was the only time I ever experienced a religious "high" when I was Christian, but Alhamdulillah as a Muslim I experience them much more frequently). It's hard to stop myself from participating in these things, but Insha'Allah I will be able to resist.
ReplyDeleteYour ideas for Eid sound great, especially the ones involving charity (especially fitting during Ramadan!). You're right: especially here in America, Eid just doesn't get the attention it deserves among Muslims. It's purely a joyous, celebratory occasion, but I know of so many Muslims where it's "just another day" because they have to go to work or school. While Christian and Jewish kids get all these awesome, festive holidays filled with days off from school, food, and presents, Muslim kids may feel like Eid isn't special. As American Muslims, I think we need to reclaim our holidays and celebrate them the way they are meant to be celebrated: with joy!
I love the idea of the Ramadan calendar. The only thing I would keep in mind with this though, especially if you use it with children, is to keep Ramadan the focus rather than Eid. A lot of the Advent calendars seem to be primarily about counting down to Christmas; this is fine, since this is essentially what Advent is, but I think sometimes the specialness and uniqueness of Advent might be overshadowed in favor of Christmas. For Ramadan/Eid, Ramadan is the "main event", and Eid is basically the observance at the end of Ramadan.
Did that make any sense? This was just my experience/feelings.
Ladies: The "against Christmas" mindset usually comes from those that are not converts. They do not understand about keeping the peace with family. And since they don;t know what they are talking about ,they shouldn't say anything. Thats my opinion.
ReplyDeleteBananaAnne: I know Ramadan is the focus but it might be fun to count down to Eid. Let the kids have a special day that celebrates all the wonderful things they just completed doing during Ramadan. And I want to count down to Eid LOL. Maybe there will be a special prayer for each day too. Oh all the fun things to do! I think it could be lovely. I want Ramadan and Eid to be special. One way to do that is to use Western traditions in a non traditional way. And I am NOT working on Eid. I will take the day off! I am already saving a personal day or 2 for Eid ul Fitr. I would for Ashura but Im out of town for Christmas
I also think a hunt with clues for a gift on Eid could be a lot of fun. We do this at my Aunt's for Easter :)
The clues for an Eid gift does sound really cool. And that was a good point you brought up of letting kids see Eid as a celebration for all that they did during Ramadan; I never thought of it in that way.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, totally don't work on Eid, it's our special day! Insha'Allah, maybe someday the two Eids will be recognized as legitimate holidays and work/school won't be in session in honor of it.
BananaAnne A lot of schools have talked about that but its impossible to do since communities cant even decide on a day and everyone celebrates on different days depending on who they follow or what rules they follow. You cant give the kids 3 days off just because you dont know what day their family celebrates Eid. They dont give Yom Kippur or Roshishana (Sorry spelled wrong Im sure) off either. Christmas seems to be the only religious holiday you get off. Its also the only one that is consistently the same day every year.
ReplyDeleteMy Love is totally on board with all my celebratory ideas. He was actually excited about it when I told him about the calendar and the gift hunt.
ReplyDeleteI love your ideas, especially the one about ornaments because I, too, have an extensive collection. They're all from my two grandmothers so I'm not going to get rid of them. The santa's (there's only a couple) will just stay in storage but the more general ones could look nice in a display cabinet year 'round.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about a sort of gift hunt myself. On Easter my parents (although it used to be the Easter bunny, lol) throw a bunch of plastic eggs around the house (with money inside) and hide a few gifts for each of us. There's no where near as many gifts as Christmas, but the hunt and the competition made it so much fun that it didn't really matter what we got. I've been sad thinking that my son won't get to experience this, or coloring eggs, or egg hunts, or egg ball (baseball with eggs). My husband says it's wrong to color eggs and play egg ball because it's a waste of food.
The only thing I've come up with for this is to perhaps hide my son's birthday gifts on his birthday and make a scavenger hunt out of it. That way he can still have a fun tradition, but it won't be commemorating the resurrection of Jesus...
Egg ball will just have to go. I think perhaps for fun on some weekend mornings we could color our hard boiled eggs just before eating them. That way it's just a fun time and no food is wasted.
I just feel like I'm unable to pass my childhood traditions on to my own child. It really does hurt to know the things I loved doing growing up are now viewed as 'wrong.'
@lk again, haven't read all the comments.
ReplyDeleteI think as converts/reverts we walk a tight and narrow line of sticking to our Muslim beliefs and still respecting our Christian or (insert religion here) family members and their practices. I think most people who recommend you DON'T celebrate are doing so because they fear that you will be tempted to much so just avoid the fitnah. Those people also happen to be born to the religion.
However, I have discovered that to follow their plans although it might work for some would have proven to be a GINORMOUS family disaster and even MORE fitnah for me. I also noticed some family members getting 'ready' to go at me if I had refused. You see if you are a good Muslim and you treat them right they don't have a reason to lash out at you even though they want to because they feel hurt and rejected. Once you say no to their gathering they feel they can now unleash on you. kwim?
also i think its kinda of hypocritical to want THEM to share in OUR holidays but we wont do it for them. Thankfully I am married and live so far away so everybody has stopped bothering me about it. Also most of my family really only celebrates Christmas as a secular holiday so its no big deal to them.
btw I must be loosing it as I didn't realize you became Muslim? when did it happen?
also when I was working at this JEWISH doctor's office (he was awesome) I would still get a CHRISTMAS bonus check! Even though I was the only hijabi in the office and I used to translate for him. hehehe
ReplyDeleteTrue dat, I forgot to take into account the fact that Muslims celebrate Eid on different days. Ugh, I really wish we could standardize it. :P
ReplyDeleteAt least where I'm from, public schools do give Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur off (my family is from New York, so there's a huge Jewish population). The Jewish calendar is not strictly lunar, so the dates of holidays can be determined in advance, thus allowing for scheduled days off.
Tuttie: I'm confusing people :) I haven't converted yet. Its hard to explain but I'm in a weird state at the moment and sometimes I feel like I have but I haven't. Not the right time yet for me or my family. Gotta take it slow. But seeing as how this could be the last Christmas I spend as a non-muslim I thought I would take some time to consider what Christmas would mean to me as a muslim. And share my ideas with everyone :)
ReplyDeleteBananaAnne: We should have gotten the Jewish holidays off. My office was empty on Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. Teehee your family is from my neck of the woods :) It would be nice to at least be given a day off but sadly the Islamic calendar is too unpredictable. But My Love did promise next year he will take the day off :)
Tuttie Also very good advice. We should be more open to accepting others. I can't expect my family to want anything to do with Islam if I shun their Christian traditions
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas! I am sort of keeping Christmas. I will go to my parent's house on Christmas Eve with the family for supper and I went to my Christmas party yesterday for work. And On New Year's Eve we are exchanging gifts. I don't have any decorations at my house or anything, but my parents have some and I go there pretty often. So Nora knows about Christmas now.
ReplyDeleteI will hopefully be switching the holidays around to celebrate the Muslim ones and I hope to do something like you... Make Eid a bit more like my Christmas tradition (decorations and a gifts). I think I will always be open about visiting my parents even if they have decotrations during December, and I will always have Christmas Eve supper with them.
I celebrate Christmas. Even have a tree :)
ReplyDeleteWhat I have been doing for a few years now is using the tree for Ramadan as well. I bought 30 silk pouches. In each little red or gold pouch I put 2 little Kisses (chocs) and a slip of paper with one Islamic fact/ayah/haith on it. After breaking the fast, the children would go to the tree and pick any random pouch. They read what's on the slip of paper and discuss it briefly asking questions if needed, then they could have their Kisses. In 30 days they knew a lot more about Islam than before and it is so much fun, they loved it more than their Islamic Studies class at school :)
We get lots of plastic stars and moons to hang on the tree and I have several colourful glass lanterns that we hang from the ceilings.
During December I put a slip of paper in their fabric advent calendar pockets with a little Christian fact/verse from the Bible. That way the children have begun to learn about both religions now. My eldest learnt the 99 names of Allah and the Lord's prayer just before December 1st as a gift to Jesus on his (supposed!) birthday :)
Achelois, I love your Ramadan and Christmas ideas as they teach your children about both faiths. Sweet gift for Jesus. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Susanne :) She is very excited. I guess children are smarter than we think. Ever since I started learning about Jesus, my children too have taken a deep interest in him and have begun to love him in a new way. I guess I say it so many time, "what would Jesus have done?" that now whenever they are naughty to break a china bowl they say in unison, "Mama don't get angry. Think what Jesus would have done!" :D
ReplyDeletenow whenever they are naughty to break a china bowl they say in unison, "Mama don't get angry. Think what Jesus would have done!" :D
ReplyDeleteAdorable! Love that!
Achelois: Your tree idea is good, that is exactly what I wanted to do with a Ramadan calendar. And I think you have a good point. If you are going to continue to celebrate Christmas in some way and you have children you should educate the children about Jesus so they understand. Plus I see no harm in knowing more about Jesus :).
ReplyDeleteTeehee that is too cute your kids response!