Insha'Allah I'm going to start going to the school soon and yesterday I was discussing it with My Love. I was saying how I will be a bit odd to them, a non-muslim at their school. On top of that, a non-muslim who knows how to dress in traditional hijab (scarf + jilbab). And he smiled and said:
"You will make those who understand it very happy."
I looked at him confused. "Those who understand what?"
"Hijab."
I stared at him. "How can they not understand hijab? They are born muslims going to the Islamic school. Don't they have to wear scarves and abayas to the school?"
"Well yes but just because they wear it to the school doesn't mean they understand it. A lot of the young women won't really get why they are wearing it. You have to get to a point where you understand it before it starts to mean anything."
"But shouldn't their mothers have taught them about hijab?"
"Maybe they don't understand it either."
I just sat there in shock. I do not know how you can not understand hijab. I get how you might not see why some feel that you need to wear an abaya or a scarf. That I get. But to not understand the concept seems odd. Its quite simple. You need to dress and behave so you are treated the way you want to be treated. By dressing modestly you say to the world " I respect myself, and I want you to respect me". As I've said, you can't get the respect you deserve in a tube top and mini skirt. So if they don't understand it, why wear it? I suppose its the blind following issue all over again. I do not understand why people are so willing to blindly follow everything they are taught. If you don't know why you are doing something it is your job to find out.
I'm pretty sure if these women went out in hijab they would realize right away what it is for. Hijab was what initially attracted me to Islam. I've been dressing hijab appropriate (without a scarf) for way over a year and I noticed a significant difference in how I am treated. No cat calls, so stares, no random men coming up to me asking me out (I hate getting hit on. I know weird right?). You are also more comfortable not worrying about hem lines or your shirt moving and exposing your bra. No worries, no tape, free to do as you please. And you can still look very beautiful and classy. I'd rather be elegant and classy than sexy any day.
Those who were born muslim - did your moms teach you about hijab or did you have to learn its purpose all on your own?
NOTE: I am not talking about wearing the scarf. I'm referring to the concept of hijab and modest dress. In this case hijab does not equal head scarf.
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I was born Catholic, was taught by nuns and was raised to believe Jesus (pbuh) was a prophet and not God nor the son of God. Yet I still called myself a Christian. Same goes for Muslims everywhere at the end of the day they are just people with faults, afflictions, happy stories, sad stories, romantic stories like everyone else. Some people don't understand simply because it was never explained to them. Putting it on although it worked for me is not that easy for other women. There has to be an inner acceptance of who you are and who you want to be before you feel comfortable jumping to the next stage. Because lets be honest in America the scarf is foreign and radical to most people. If she isn't ready the stares and the snarky comments will get to anyone quickly. You need self esteem and determination.
ReplyDeleteIt took you nearly a year of modestly dressing before you were comfortable with the hijab. Same for every other woman born Muslim or not. I wore the hijab within 24hrs of converting but that was because I was ready for it.
I rather look sexy for the one man who understands, appreciates and nurtures me, my hubs.
Tuttie - That is exactly what My Love was trying to tell me. I'm not talking about the scarf specifically but the concept of hijab and modest dress. I think you can be a great muslimah but not wear a scarf.
ReplyDeleteYeah the scarf is awkward here. I 100% understand why a lot of women would not want to wear the scarf and am totally cool with that. I know there will be places I will not be able to wear it but I've come to terms with that. I think God will appreciate my effort :). I rather like it, but some places just aren't worth the ridicule it causes.
:) Yes there are some men who rather do find it sexy and for all the right reasons.
i forgot to mention that I am a niqabi now (for 2 years+) because I can handle it. If I had tried the niqab immediately as a new Muslim it would have been too hard for me. I wore the niqab 11 months after I became Muslim.
ReplyDelete:) in the end we have to do the version of hijab that is best for us. I don't think any version makes a person better than another. You are free to choose scarf, no scarf, niqab etc. That is the beauty of it.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a post I saw on Ange's blog - which is temporarily locked - about Muslim teenage girls and Facebook, miniskirts, suggestive poses, parents, reputations, etc. I was just boggled that any Muslim girl could take it into her head to do such things. Even if only girls are reading - which they definitely aren't (only girls) - there's still the matter that you aren't allowed to show your knees to *anyone* except your husband. I know that, and I'm not even a Muslim!
ReplyDeletePS Another thing I just don't get is Muslim women who are itching to remove their hijab the minute they think no men are around. If hijab is so wonderful, why aren't they slow to take it off, keeping it on as long as they can??? There are people out there who wear hijab voluntarily - even when it is not required for them - even all day long!
ReplyDeleteYou said for this post, hijab only meant modest dress. I know plenty of Christian ladies who dress modestly for many of the same reasons you mentioned. I admire them and find them classy-looking. Enjoyed this post. :)
ReplyDeleteChristianity did at one point have a concept almost identical to hijab. Not sure what happened to it. I think the Orthodox still follow a dress code.
ReplyDeleteThere's technically still a dress code for all of Christianity, it's just that too many have become convinced that modesty 'lies only in the heart' and they can therefore be modest in a bikini. Yeah, no. The Orthodox seem to have upheld a lot of the traditions better than the majority of Western Christianity. :)
ReplyDeleteThere is a general teaching that people should dress and act modestly. Most denominations that have a *specific* dress code only have one for females and only for church - that they should cover their heads. There are a few - conservative Amish, Mennonites and Quakers, along with some Pentecostal/Holiness churches. I lived with a roomie from one of the latter for one year during college, and there were regulations about the type and even the colors of clothing that were to be worn, and women's heads were to be covered at all times in view of the verse 'Pray without ceasing' (I Thessalonians 5:17).
ReplyDeleteIf a church requires headcovering, it nearly always has in mind a hat. Today, no church that I know of among those that expect full-time headcovering for all women requires an actual veil for that purpose. Perhaps a small one that just covers the bun on the back of your head, or a bonnet or snood. But not one that comes down onto the chest.
I do not pretend to know how we went from hijab and even niqab (apparently some of the so-called 'church fathers' preached covering of the face for women), to the present state of affairs.
Amber, It is indeed possible to be modest in a bikini. Not easy, but possible. It is even possible for nudists to be modest in their Adam and Eve costumes (as we call them in Polish). This does not mean that we should walk around in this kind of costume, of course. Our dress does not just affect us, and not everyone has a pure mind.
ReplyDeleteYeah I've been wondering that myself. I'm not sure about a lot of things in this "Christian" country we live in. A lot of the social norms are totally against the Christian teaching.
ReplyDeleteI wish we still wore hats and veils in church and covered our heads when we left the house with a hat or a scarf. It was so classy. My mom and I talked about that one day, she misses it. She said that she misses a lot of the traditions that use to be in the church that have gotten lost.
caraboska,
ReplyDeleteThe Church Fathers do speak of headcovering, and it closely (if not identically) resembles the hijab. I can't recall any that recommend niqab for Christian women though. There is one quote about the heathen women of Arabia, but I don't think it was a recommendation for Christian niqab.
I have to disagree, though, I don't think it's possible to be modest in a bikini.
I suppose you can be "modest at heart" and not purposely flaunt yourself in a bikini. But I cannot see how a bikini could ever be modest. Its less clothes than a lot of people's underwear! Tankini might be ok if its the kind thats a tank top and a skirt.
ReplyDeleteThis is so random lol
If one is truly 'modest at heart' then one would not be wearing a bikini. Or a tankini for that matter....
ReplyDeleteI dont think tankinis are so bad....but my preference would be an oversized black t-shirt and boys swim shorts LOL
ReplyDeleteClearly, you have not seen the tankini's I have seen. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh I have seen some bad ones but there are a couple that are ok as far as swimsuits go. A man totally designed the swimsuit.
ReplyDelete