So why is it that muslim men are allowed to run around in tight t-shirts and jeans? God forbid a muslim woman accidentally wears a long sleeve T that is a little tight or a scarf that is a bit too short. I know that we have more to cover and that is part of it. It just seems to me that the men can wear whatever they want. They even run around shirtless on the beach! Now, if hijab is partially suppose to be about making it a little easier on the opposite sex, why are men allowed to parade themselves in front of women? Women are very attracted to the upper body of a man and a tight t-shirt only accentuates this. But we apparently have more natural self control so we just are suppose to not look? Is that it? Because I can tell you if an attractive man walks past me shirtless or in a tight T I am gonna look. You can't help it! Its the same as if a woman walks by in a mini skirt, its like instinct. Its like the volleyball scene in Top Gun. You can't look away, too many attractive shirtless sweaty men playing volleyball. I'm sure that's why it has its own chapter on the DVD called "volleyball scene".
*spaces to epic volleyball scene* If only Christian Bale and Ryan Renolds had been involved.
Anyway back to the point :)
I love hijab, I do. I just don't think it is fair. I don't like tight clothing, I find it uncomfortable. I love my long skirts and tunic shirts. But I do not like women checking out My Love because his shirt is tight. Maybe that is me being insecure, I don't know. All I know is I don't like it.
So why why why are they allowed to do this? While we have to swelter in the heat and never go in a swimming pool.
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A lot of the conditions of hijab are explained in detail in hadiths, or they come from the sunnah or interpretations of scholars (the same with women's clothes) because the Qur'an only gives general guidelines on how to dress. Alhamdulillah, in my own lowly opinion I am glad that the Qur'an leaves it a bit vague; it lays down the basic (and very reasonable) rules, and people can use their own common sense to figure out the rest of their clothes. You're right--tight clothes are just as immodest on men as they are on women and therefore do not fulfill their conditions for hijab. The man's awrah (navel to knees) is the bare minimum that needs to be covered, but the more that is covered the better (same with women; the face, hands, and in some opinions the feet are not part of the awrah, but the more she covers, like with niqab or looser clothes, the better). Also, ALLAH addressed the conditions of men's hijab in the Qur'an before that of women, and before anything else ALLAH said for everyone to lower our gazes. People (men and women) that do not do this or think that the concept of hijab is not important or only applies to women is in the wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe men that you see wearing very tight or flashy clothes might not be very observant, or they just don't know any better. The pious brothers that I know all dress modestly, meaning clothes that aren't tight and are tastefully colored/decorated. Maybe you could tell your Love that it makes you uncomfortable when he wears tight shirts because you notice other women staring. He might not even realize that women are looking at him. Insha'Allah he will decide to wear looser clothes. If not, though, it is ultimately his choice.
It's interesting that the hadith are not as detailed about men's clothing as they are about women's. I think the Qur'an is telling both men and women to be moest and then while the hadith has elaborated on how women should be modest, it hasn't done so for men (at least not to my knowledge). I remember doing Umrah and seeing men walking around half-naked, and found it really annoying that I had to walk around with abaya and hijab.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like saying women can't (or shouldn't) get turned on by seeing men half-naked but God forbid a man see the outline of a woman's body!
I agree. I once told a Christian male friend of mine who had previously been in the habit of going running shirtless that my reaction to that sort of thing is much the same as a male's reaction to a topless woman. He promptly determined he would never appear shirtless in public again, and even trained his roommates to put their shirts on when I came to visit (at that time, about once a week for dinner after my violin lesson). Let's say I view him (at least in that respect) as a role model for males.
ReplyDeleteSame here, I understand the problem. I would talk to him and explain you feel uncomfortable with him in tight tops when women stare. chances are that he hasn't notice and will changed his ways.
ReplyDeleteFailing this watch Baba Ali on Hijab on you tube.
Also maybe less was written about men as they would need less protection than women in the sense of, one of the reasons Allah (swt) prescribed Hijab for women is to protect the beauty of her body from those that may harm her. A man however is a protector of women, not the other, therefore in my head at least means that men are able to protect themselves in this instance...
I don't know but a suggestion at least!
'If only Christian Bale and Ryan Reynolds had been involved.'
ReplyDeleteThat....is an amazingly epic image. *However*, it'd have to be watched under strict physician supervision, for the inevitable spontaneous combustions. :)
I agree with you on the men's dress vs. women's. It doesn't seem fair at all, and the whole...men are protectors thing...meh. It's not true in all instances. I've kicked men's asses before. Men do get molested and beaten and raped by women. We just don't hear about it as much, because they're even more ashamed than a female victim would be. My point is, for hijab to be protecting both sexes, the men should have to dress appropriately as well. And I've always been told that Muslim men aren't supposed to dress in tight, revealing clothing either. But that they ignore this part of their hijab while enforcing women's hijab very strictly. Why? Because women are weaker, and fitna, and whatever. *rolls eyes* The truth is some of them don't want to have to lower their gaze or control their impulses, so they put the onus totally on the women.
This was My Love's response in a nutshell:
ReplyDeleteMen are dangerous to women more so than women are dangerous to men. We require more protection. I can agree with this as I have been in many dangerous situations with men which probably would not have happened if I was in hijab.
Also, the way the men dress is part of society. He agreed this is a poor excuse but its true. For a man to look put together and presentable in the US he must wear clothes that fit well. This includes fitted dress shirts and T-shirts. Now, they do not need to wear super tight shirts and he agrees. Women can look beautiful and presentable in modest clothing. Men, however, do not look so presentable in an oversized T shirt or dress shirt. They look unkempt. His explanation for wearing no shirt while swimming is that he is swimming and technically you should leave your shirt on until you go in the water and that in most cases the women and men should be separated while swimming. His explanation for this was not as good since a woman cannot wear a swim suit, she still has to wear a ton of clothing to go swimming.
LK, thanks for sharing Your Love's reply. It seems you were mostly satisfied with what he had to say. I was glad to hear his perspective.
ReplyDeleteI think if they remembered to lower their gazes, women wouldn't have to be as covered as they are. But, oh well. I guess not looking is too hard to do, as you said in your volleyball example. :)
Susanne: Yes when you "dress down" to a certain point it is hard not to look. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think men should be wearing tight shirts, and especially not tight pants (since that area very clearly falls into the area that needs to be covered).
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, they have less interesting things to cover so I can accept them not needing to cover as much as we do... We have beautiful hips and breasts and delicate arms, etc. They can have nice abs or scultpted arms, but honestly, unless they work out, it's not head-turning. At least not for me! Regular women with regular curves are all head-turning for men, but regular men with out-of-shape bodies are not that attracting!
And I think it's not unreasonable as an argument that women are more likely to be attacked and harassed for this than men. We need more protection. As much as it's to keep the sexual tension down, it's also to just protect ourselves from danger.
Candice: LOL! I totally agree. The tight shirt thing really only applies to the in shape men which are the minority.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't think anywhere near all women are appealing looking to men. Of course, probably any woman looks appealing to at least some men, and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteI don't get this protection thing, except in the sense of self-protection. I mean, nearly always (apparently 80% of the time) if a woman 'needs protection', it's from the very men who were 'supposed to be protecting her'. My takeaway is that women have to simply be able to protect themselves, end of story.
When you go out and you know you can protect yourself, you look at the world very differently - and it shows, and it makes it that much less likely anyone will try to harm you.
it is clear for the men. they are told to cover from navel to the knees. and the tight shirts are to be banned. yup. i think that is pretty explanatory in itself. the men you see not observing it do not represent the way men are supposed to cover themselves.
ReplyDeletethey are not allowed to wear that kind of clothings. but they do it anyway. its like women who dont wear hijab. they are not allowed but they dont wear it anyway
ReplyDeleteHabibti: Thanks for your comment :)
ReplyDeleteI always thought it was implied for the men if not clearly stated. Yes it is similar to women who are muslim but choose to wear tight clothes. Its sort of defeating the concept of hijab. However, a man does it and no one says anything, a woman does it and she is ridiculed and picked on. Now that is not right either in my book.
i know its right. i totally agree with you. but its not the fault of islam. it is the fault of people who confuse culture with islam. we can never blame the religion, islam for that. only us who dont follow the rules and think our culture is the best. or that kind of thinking
ReplyDeleteHabibti: Yeah its totally not Islam's fault. A lot of my issues are not the fault of the religion, but of its people and their cultures.
ReplyDeleteAs far as bathing suits go, try www.ahiida.com. Yeah, they're expensive, but they cover and the fabric actually has an SPF of 50! I love mine. (See one of my first posts for more about this.)
ReplyDeleteOooo I'll check it out
ReplyDelete