Seriously, does anyone know why? I really don't understand. You don't see men going out of their way to purposely bring another man down or to slander their reputation. So why do women do it so often? What do we gain by the gossip, by bringing other women down?
Any thoughts? I think jealousy can have a lot to do with it.
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I keep reading comments like this about how women are mean and gossip etc. I know one of them was from you. I guess you were having these thoughts then too... And I was thinking when I read the comment that it sucks that we always hear about what women do wrong and what women can improve. And that it comes not only from men, but from women too. This isn't like speaking badly of a person, but I see it the same way. It's speaking badly of womankind. I don't like that. If there's something specific to address then of course, we can only better ourselves by doing that, but I hate reading anything that's very general about how women are this and that.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think we overaddress issues relating to women and underaddress those relating to men. So that just bugs me.
I don't take it as personally when it comes from men because in my mind I can be all "well you are man you don't know what you are talking about". but you can't do that with women.
ReplyDeleteMy post was out of being truly annoyed and it is my #2 fear in becoming muslim. I have had A LOT of trouble with women in my life. This post comes from an afterthought as to why it seems that women are mean to each other but men are not.
I personally dont care what men do. The only thing that bothers me about them is they are often rude to women. In Islam, why they seem to barely have to address or practice hijab/ why their hijab is so easy and ours is not.
Men're ugly.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, not really. :) But, think about it - women are much more aesthetically pleasing than men, in general. Women have more pretty-ness to cover up. :) Or you could go with the theory that men have such little control over their hind brains that the sight of a boob (even just a little!) sends them back to caveman, 'me Tarzan, you Jane' thinking. *shrug*
But that wasn't the point here, was it? Sorry, got distracted.
My *personal* theory on why women are so much meaner to each other?
Men, from boyhood up, are taught to control themselves. They're *expected* to be less emotional about things. It's 'girly' to cry, etc. And when they *do* have an issue with another boy, they're tacitlly expected to solve the issue by kicking the crap out of each other until an adult stops them or someone wins. Girls are *expected* to throw fits and cry and scream but *not to hit*. So we learn, early on, that the best way to get at another girl is verbally, or with sneaky little 'sabotages'. And all these lessons carry over into adulthood. Men've absorbed that they shouldn't let things get to them, shouldn't be too emotional, because they're men, and women have learned that they are emotional, and need to be catty at each other in order to settle things.
Plus, PMS. It's *totally and completely* a real excuse for some things. It's a good job I don't have access to heavy weaponry 7 days a month, because I really would have shot someone by now.
LOL PMS!
ReplyDeleteYou have a good point, it may be how we are raised.
LOL yeah it's the PMS thing :D:D
ReplyDeleteAfter converting to Islam, I've been treated SO much better by other women, my Sisters in Islam. I was scared, just like you, because I thought other Muslim women wouldn't treat me well but Alhamdulillah I was wrong.
My Sisters in Islam have been very supporting, loving and caring, I haven't experienced such "competition" in this sisterhood but everybody seems to care about each other, as we're supposed to love our Sisters in Islam for the sake of Allah.
I no longer have to worry about my "friends" calling me a b*tch behind my back and worrying about me stealing their boyfriends, LOL. I don't want to generalise but SOME women see other women as their rivals, nothing possible threaths to their own marriage or relationship with some guy and that's the reason why they start hating each other.
When I was in High School I was voted the Prom Queen and "Miss High School" - I mean why do they even have such awards? It's stupidity and teaches young girls wrong kind of values - our worth as women has nothing to with our looks, we're all worthy and we're all beautiful. So, in my high school other girls kind of like hated me, sure they wanted to be friends with me but I could tell 50 percent totally hated me and the other 50 was desperately trying to be like me, there was some kind of a "catfight" athmosphere going on all the time. Lots of gossiping and backbiting. If you've seen the movie Mean Girls, that movie really reminds me of my High School years, I was just like Regina. After converting to Islam I haven't experienced such or been treated that way, Alhamdulillah.
Thats wonderful news Hijab Chic!
ReplyDeleteI had a similar but less popular experience in high school. One of my "friends" turned on me because some guy, who I wasn't even interested in, liked me over her. She then made the rest of my four years miserable by having the rest of the group turn on me. They also wouldn't introduce me to their boyfriends because I would steal them. I didn't even want a boyfriend, why would I take theirs? lol
Maybe thats it! I've heard that outside of cultural scuffs (aka you can't wear abaya) muslim women don't fight nearly as much. Maybe because dating is not an issue and therefore they are not fighting over men? Could be hmmmm....
"muslim women don't fight nearly as much. Maybe because dating is not an issue and therefore they are not fighting over men?"
ReplyDeleteThat makes sense to me! It seems men are really the problem afterall! ;)
LOL Susanne maybe they are.
ReplyDelete