As you all know I am on hiatus for a reason. I've been going through some rough things, even having trouble figuring out the small stuff. I am incredibly lost and confused, stuck in the never-ending religion limbo.
I needed some guidance on doing a particular thing to farther my journey into Islam. I remembered a prayer Tuttie liked, The Guidance Prayer or Istikhara, and thought it was time to give it a try. I was unable to do the ritual prayer that is suppose to go along with the supplication because I frankly don't know how. The supplication seems to have been enough. I really enjoy this prayer. It speaks my language and says exactly what I am trying to say. Before I said the prayer, I told God what it was that I was praying about. Then, in a quiet voice, I did the prayer.
So today, I am reading blogs as I do every morning and I come back across Sarah's post about feeling far away from God. And she talks about how it is possible that you need to make a commitment to move forward. That you just have to say "this is what I am going to do." And do it. One second guesses oneself out of fear. Fear keeps us from empowering ourselves. You have to step over fear to move forward.
So that is what I am going to do. Step over my fear of other muslims, of possibly being teased, of naseeha.
I'm going to the school. Mash'Allah.
Istikhara/Guidance Prayer
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Alhamdulillah. May you continue to find Guidance and inner peace ameen.
ReplyDelete*I am doing a happy dance on your behalf :)
haha Yay happy dance. Thanks so much for posting about this prayer. Dunno how else I would have found it.
ReplyDeleteMash'Allah!
It's interesting what you got from what I wrote - it goes beyond what I had in mind! I think the answer was within you!
ReplyDeleteI think it's a good idea to go to the school. It may or may not help, but it's worth a try. Are your fears about the way women might react to you based on experiences you've had? I was really nervous to go to Islamic Society meetings/events on my own, but I met several really lovely people. I hope you do too.
Thanks Sarah! I think you are right. What you wrote triggered something I already knew, I just needed something to bring it out. So thank you :)
ReplyDeleteYeah the ladies make me nervous. Everyone seems to have had great experiences with muslim women but i have had so many horrible experiences with non-muslim women that it makes me nervous. But I will talk to my connection and try to get the ball rolling.