Easter Aftermath

Sounds like a lot of us had very similiar Easter experiences :)

This is my second year going into Easter after studying Islam. It wasn't so bad this second time around. I realized right away I couldn't really participate. Its not like at Christmas. They are mostly songs and prayers of "YAY Jesus is here!" which Unitarian and Muslim wise is totally fine. Christmas is easy. Its just Jesus' birthday. But Easter is rough. I basically just sat or stood and took it all in. I observed. And it was the first time in a long time I enjoyed church. I wasn't trying to make myself believe anything anymore. I took it in for what it is: a beautiful expression of faith. Church is really a beautiful thing. If you've never been I highly recommend sitting in on a service. Its quite lovely. But I know I don't belong there. And I'm not going to ever be able to go back to trinitarian christianity. Even with my belief in the crucifixion, Easter mass was too difficult. So much praying to Jesus!

The priest actually talked about the people who believe the crucifixion didn't happen. His reasoning for why this has to be false was rather amusing. His reasoning was that St. Peter, St. Paul (not the apostle) and the rest of his followers were uneducated, simple, men who were mostly fishermen. They did not have the capacity to make up such an elaborate story! Which made me want to go: So Muhammad (as) simple, unlearned man who worked in the trade business. Not a writer, or an overly educated being. Just a regular man. And he alone brought the entire Qur'an. So shouldn't that mean, Mr. Priest, that the Qur'an is also true? Hmmmm? :)

I have gotten to the point where I consider myself Unitarian Christian. But I am not nearly ready to come out as a muslim. Its still hard for me to accept the immense responsibilities. So many things that weren't sins instantly become sins (Not being clothed head to toe, eating non halal foods, praying on your period, missing prayers, interaction with the opposite sex etc). So much added responsibility. Plus I realized how hard it could be with family who will never understand.

One step at a time.

Easter Triduum

I always think its a good idea to be aware of what other religions are up to.

Today is Holy Thurday, the beginning of the three holy days proceeding Easter Sunday. They would be: Holy Thurday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday. In a nutshell, Holy Thursday is the Last Supper, Good Friday is the crucifixion, Holy Saturday is the burial, and Easter Sunday is when Jesus rises.

For more info visit Wikipedia

BTW Passover is still going on as well.

HAPPY EASTER

BTW Today is Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday Wikipedia

Um...Christopher St is back that way

I was on the train last night coming back from Circle. At circle, we talked about najis things and how to clean them. This time it actually made sense :). And then we talked about intentions and how important they are. How we do need to scold ourselves when we don't fulfill our promises but we also have to be careful not to scold ourselves so much that we fall into a depression and stop completely (ME! that was ME!)

The train. I'm on the train coming back in my long abaya style coat and black hijab. The kind of hijab that very much screams Islam, like the kind that they wear in Persepolis. I'm on the train and I hear a bunch of ladies, most likely in their 50s, talking about where they are trying to go. They are talking and talking and I hear them mention "Christopher St". By now, we are already in the middle of the city, Christopher St is way down town. So I did something I'm usually too nervous to do: I interrupted them to see if I can help.

I called over to them really nicely and they were surprised but so relieved to find out someone knew how to get them to their hotel! I told them where to get off and what train to take back (They got the orange train confused with the red one. They needed the red one). And the tallest lady turned to me and said "Without you we would have never figured it out. Thank you". And I smiled, happy to help.

And then I realized something. Not only did I just do a good deed which is good in itself but I just did a good deed for Islam. These ladies just saw a little muslim woman be kind, helpful, and friendly. I little muslim woman who just joked with them about getting lost and offered to help them find their way. I just did a good thing for the image of Islam.

And maybe that is why one should wear the scarf in the US. To try and improve the image of Islam. No it shouldn't just be on the back of women, I agree. But, it is a nice thought that I may have just improved six people's image of Islam. Just by being myself.

Why Some Men Want The Scarf

I have not, until now, been able to understand why a husband would want his wife to wear a scarf in America. Let's face it. America does not like the scarf. It makes it hard to get a job, people stare at you constantly, and often you feel as though you might be in danger. At least, this is how I feel. And I couldn't understand why My Love was perfectly ok with me feeling this way. Why was the scarf so important to him that he could dismiss how I feel? How I feel scared and in danger?

I could only think of three reasonings:

1) Because Shariah says so
2)Because he wants to make sure his wife is for his eyes only (possession)
3)Because his family will think less of me/community will think less of me if I don't

So I asked him. Up until now I only got "Because you are suppose to". Which, in my opinion, is not a good enough reason to do anything. So asked him to really, fully tell me why he wants me to wear a scarf so badly. Why is it so important that it can make or break a marriage.

So he told me. And it was fascinating. So fascinating I wanted to share it will all of you because now I understand the scarf so much better than I did before.

1) To protect the wife from the eyes of men. Men will look and he does not want his wife disrespected in such a way. The scarf hides a lot of the natural beauty of a woman removing a lot of unwanted sexual attention. It can protect the wife from unwanted advances.

2) It covers the hair which is one of the most sexual parts of a woman's body. It excentuates all her features and makes her more alluring. By wearing the scarf it tones down the woman's natural beauty and prevents unwanted advances. (I think a bun achieves a similar effect)

3) He wants his wife to get the respect she deserves. Now I don't think the scarf commands respect in this country but I understand where he is coming from. At least I would be well respected in the muslim community. And most men would leave me alone or at least speak respectfully to me.

4) He feels it is a major part of the religion. Now this I am not so sure of (No you do not need to quote hadiths at me) but I can see where he is coming from. From his perspective, the most important part of hijab is the scarf. I think the most important part is how you conduct yourself. But we all have differences of opinion.

I'm sure it also has to do with how his parents and community would see me. But it seems to be a small part since he is willing to allow me to go to work and see my family without it. But its made me realize again why its important and why I need to give it a second chance.

I Watch the News=I Know More than You Do

I watch the news. The news says that all muslims are terrorists. That they want to kill all the Christians and the Jews. That they believe women should be owned by men. That all women wear big black dresses and scarves. It is a hate filled religion.

What is that you say daughter who has studied Islam for 2 years and has many muslim friends? They are not terrorists? That most want peace and do not hate others? That it is only a small group who most muslims do not even consider muslim? That, in reality, the muslims just want to be left alone?

I am sorry daughter but I watch the news and read the Internet. I know more than you who has studied and read the Qur'an. Who takes classes and hangs out with muslims. I know Muhammad was an evil man, that women are abused, and that Islam is all about hate. You should believe me that Islam is evil. I am right because I am your mother, no matter what you say you will be wrong.

Yes this is a dramatization.

Seriously can we get a device that can block these things from our parents? It would be really helpful......

Shorts and Arranged Marriage

so its summer today and of course the drastic weather change made me ill. Which is not good since Sis came over to check out some clothes. We are the same size so I told her I would share with her my fashion wisdom lol.

So I told my mom she was coming over and this is how that conversation went:

Mom: I thought she wore a veil?

Me: Yeah she does.

Mom: Then how can she wear any of your clothes?

Me: She can wear normal clothes as long as they are modest. Like tunics or long shirts. She wears T-shirts and stuff. Just with a scarf.

Mom: That's weird. I thought she had to wear one of those black dress things.

Me: No one I know wears one of those. No she wears normal clothes.

Mom: Can she wear shorts?

Me: Um no, you can't show your legs.

Mom: That's ridiculous! How are shorts not modest?!

Me: I don't like shorts so I really don't care if you can wear them or not.

Mom: Ok, well have fun bye.

So this tells me a couple of things:

1) Mom still gets all her Islamic info from the news.

2) She thinks all muslim women who wear scarves also wear abayas even though I told her many times his sister wears normal clothes and mother wears shalwar kameez.

3) She has not read the copy of "Daughters of Another Path" that I left for her.

4) I am going to have more issues with this than I thought considering she got mad at me over shorts.

On top of that, I learned more about Pakistani Islamic culture. Although they are moving away from arranged marriages, it is still considered very bad to even know the person before you marry. Which seems silly because you should at least have a clue about someone before you marry them! My Love's parents were arranged and they do ok. Sis does not want that at all and they have agreed to not make their children have arranged marriages but once their child gets engaged thats it: they are getting married whether they are compatible or not. Now that seems really counter productive. If you find in the "getting to know you" process you are not compatible then you shouldn't get married. Or you will get divorced! Is crazy I tell you.

Scholars encourage you to get to know a potential spouse before marriage to avoid divorce and encourage you to be friends with your spouse. Muhammad was friends first with Khadijah before they married. Wouldn't you want to follow in the footsteps of the prophet? I would think so.

Cultures do not make sense sometimes....I know mine sure doesn't....this one doesn't either....

Bleh