I just got my haircut today. Its been almost 7 months. I'm just not one of those girls that feels the need to get it done all the time. I use to get really nervous that the hairdresser would mess it up but now I don't care. Probably because since November I have always worn my hair up in public. It started as an experiment on how I might feel if I had to do hijab. How it would feel to not have to get up an extra half hour early so I had time to do my hair. I got use to it and just kept doing it. Now I feel awkward in public with it down and I don't have the patience to do my hair anymore. It just doesn't seem worth all the hassle.
So this made me think: where do Muslimahs get their haircuts? Yes there are all women salons but many have male stylists. Some have that heavy curly hair that is really easy to cut at home so they don't need a salon. But I have fine curly hair so I NEED a stylist to cut mine. I suppose you find a friend who is good with a scissors?
I just finished watching another lecture from Hassanain Rajabali on Khadija and the women of Islam. It really is a beautiful explanation of the role of women and what it truly means to be a muslim woman. It also makes you realize how amazing Khadija was.
Enjoy
On another note I ordered my first Quran! Well, 2 actually. One with commentary and another with a transliteration for the Arabic that I thought might come in handy both by the same scholar. I can't wait till they get here!
So in the next week or 2 I will be taking my first trip to the mosque. I will be going for a lecture so there won't be much praying or anything. Its not a formal event or night of obligation (to my knowledge). I'm not sure what to wear. I own this abaya from desert store.
I don't know if it's too much for a non-prayer event or what. What do people usually wear? Do they wear abaya or shalwar kameez or tunics with skirts? I figure I can't go wrong in an abaya but I want to make sure I don't embarrass the people I'm with by dressing incorrectly.
On a side note, I have decided I am wearing a scarf whether or not you have to if you are attending a lecture. I feel more comfortable that way. I don't want to stick out so with a scarf I will blend and be appropriate.
Every time I talk to my mother I need a reminder as to why I got so excited about Islam. My mother has started doing "research" on Islam and Pakistan. Somehow, she has managed to not find one good thing about Islam even though she insists she is avoiding slander sites. Her choice to research Pakistan is only harmful since their government is a mess and abuses the religion. She even brought up how its against the law in Pakistan to be Christian because a Christian is indirectly saying something negitive about Muhammad (PBUH) by being Christian. It is true, they do arrest Christians but I was trying to tell her that is not Islam. She doesn't want to hear me.
I also told her I will be meeting his parents soon. Her exact words were "Well, don't be disappointed when they don't like you. Pakistan people don't like people from other countries and Muslims don't like people of other religions. They are very unaccepting. Christianity is so much more accepting of others."
She doesn't realize his family left BECAUSE Pakistan has problems. BECAUSE it abuses Islam. She also doesn't realize that most of what she is quoting is culture. She even went on to say that the charity from the first Ramadan went to fund a bloody jihad lead by the prophet across the middle east to force people into Islam. I don't remember hearing that the prophet lead something of that nature, but yes something like that happened was my response. all religions have had their version of the Crusades, Islam is no different.
Of course, I had to speak to My Love after this. And he told me to watch this speech:
Hassanain Rajabali is the name of this wonderful speaker. He has origins in philosophy and science, totally speaks my language. He reminded me why the Islamic view of God makes so much more sense to me. How original sin cannot work with a merciful God. And how Adam and Eve were not punished with knowledge but gifted knowledge when they were ready to have it.
So my heart feels better now that I am reminded of why I believe what I believe. I still think Imam Moosa al-Kazim (PBUH) said it best in regards to the mercy of God:
"The acts of man are limited to three possibilities. First, that God alone does them while man is quite helpless, second, that both God and man equally share the commitment; and third, that man does them alone. Now if the first assumption is true, that obviously proves the unjustness of God, punishes His creatures for sins which they have not committed. If the second assumption be accepted, even then God becomes unjust if He punishes man for crimes in which he is equally a partner. because of the impossibility of either of these conditions, the third alternative to the problem is that men are absolutely responsible or their own deeds."
Here is an article about a girl who decided to wear hijab as an experiment. its really interesting what she learned.
I first noticed Spencer Wall in my religion and society class toward the end of last semester. She wasn’t particularly outspoken, but the shawl that covered her hair, neck and shoulders made her stand out in the large class.
I usually gave her nothing more than a completely unconscious glance. But when she revealed to the class the decision that she made on April 27, I suddenly became aware of the attention I gave her.
Wall, a 20-year-old sociology and English senior, decided to assume the characteristics and attire of a “typical” Muslim woman for a year starting in late April.....
It's true. I really do forget sometimes. So much of my life is lived like a muslimah's that I often forget I am not one. I think part of it is because deep down I know what I want but I'm not ready yet and neither is my family. But there is that longing deep inside that says I already know what is good for me.
I wear modest clothing, I only eat halal meat, I read the Nahjul Balagha to calm me, and I pray twice a day. I also want a Q'uran more than anything and I have a new obsession with abayas. Yes I am aware that there is A LOT more to a muslimah than the things I just mentioned and that I am no where near being one. That doesn't mean that I don't get the urge to salaam a sister when I see her walk past but I can't because she would think I'm crazy. What it does mean is that deep down I know I'm not Christian and that as of right now I am nothing. And being in religion limbo is no good. So I cling to my interest in Islam. It is my last resort.
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