My Qur'an showed up much earlier then expected. According to Amazon.com it hadn't even shipped yet. I actually bought 2, one with translation, transliteration, and arabic, the other with translation, commentary, and arabic. Both are translated and compiled by Abdullah Yusuf Ali. The version with commentary arrived today. It is such a beautiful book that could be so wonderful. So full of knowledge and wisdom.
And I'm terrified of it.
Why?
Because I can only get one of two answers, both equally terrifying.
1) I find that Islam is wrong for me. This means that my 10+ year quest of searching for the right religion must continue. That the religion I thought just might have the answers to my longing was in fact not the one. This would also mean saying goodbye to My Love which would devastate me. It would also mean moving back home. I don't feel like I have a reason to stay out here if I am no longer studying Islam. Islam is why I stayed in first place after all my friends that I moved with went their separate ways. I don't want to go home, its so void of diversity. Its all white and Catholic. It is hard to learn about the world when you are closed off from it. I would be lonely, lost, and most likely depressed. My mom would be happy though.
2) I will find that Islam is my answer. This has many more good parts. I will be able to move towards finally finding my way to be closer to God. I can belong in this world and have answers to my longing questions. I will get to stay with, even marry, My Love. I might actually be able to fit somewhere. My mother will be extremely unhappy. I will have difficulties holding a job due to hijab and will have to experience prejudice for the first time in my life. But I won't be alone in any of it.
So now I'm just starring at it because I'm afraid to read it. So many say they knew what they had to do after reading the Qur'an. I'm just not sure if I'm read to know.
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I found your blog on another blog's list.
ReplyDeleteIf a verse's translation isn't clear try reading other translations of the verse online. Sometimes translators lean toward a specific interpretation when in fact the verse could be interpreted many ways.
And also, sometimes a verse can have multiple valid interpretations.
I suggest you take your time with it. Read it many times before you make any final decisions.
I agree. I plan to read it once through without reading commentary. Then I may go back and check out the commentary. I also want to get ahold of another translation or two to cross reference. I've seen enough Bibles to know how drastically different a holy book can be depending on who put it together. Although I understand the Qu'ran doesn't have nearly as many issues as different Bibles because the Qur'an itself has not been altered but the Bible has been to fit the different protestant churches and the Catholic church made a few changes down the line as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice! I'm going to have a whole collection of Qu'rans when Im done.
Good luck to you on that! I find it is good to have a Yusuf Ali translation and then a more modern translation, to really understand what is being said. I do the same with the KJV and the New International Version of the Bible.
ReplyDeleteI'd recommend that you try the book that I read: "Jesus and Muhammad" by Mark Gabriel. Rather than look at what the followers do/believe, I like to take it back to the source - Jesus for Christianity and Muhammad for Islam. You know, how well they walk the walk, versus just talking the talk.
I found that Muhammad's behavior towards women kind of disturbed me. Yes, he made sure that women were provided for, as is constantly pointed out. Got it. But he also wasn't very nice to them himself. He called them "deficient in intelligence and deficient in religion". I don't recall was the "intelligence" part was, but I remember that women having periods (which are a God-given part of our biology) and therefore being unable to fast, etc, made them deficient in religion.
Jesus, however, praised women for their faith, healed them, etc, just like he did for men.
Yes I plan on getting ahold of a more modern translation.
ReplyDeleteWomen in all religions seem to have issues. The Bible isn't very good to us either, blaming us for the fall of man and all. But Jesus (AS) was always good to the women, even if the Bible wasn't.
I've never heard of Muhammad (AS) talking down to the women. In fact, he advocated for women's rights and equality to men. A couple of hadiths confuse me but most of those are in debate as to whether or not they actually were said by the prophet (The women in hell is the most disturbing of them). But yes I too don't agree with the period thing. I think it was intended to help us. It is hard to fast if you have a bad period. But I think it got taken the wrong way and now its treated as a disease and we can't do regular prayer (only du'a) which upsets me. Also not all blood is considered dirty (aka making you impure for prayer) so Im not sure why menstrual blood makes us impure. Some think you can't even go into the mosque on your period! I think, down the line, someone interpreted something wrong. It stems from ignorance about biology.
I plan on hunting down an educated woman to inquire about this subject. A man cannot answer these questions for us. If God gave it to us so we can bring life into the world how can it be impure? I wanna go back to the time where we got to hang in tents and rest for 4 days waiting for it to be over LOL.
I am so getting that book, its on my list to be ordered from amazon :). I am very curious.
Oh do you have a more modern translation you would recommend?
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. It's difficult when you feel there is a lot riding on it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as a translation of the Quran in more modern English, I have Tarif Khalidi's and Muhammad Abdul Haleem's, both of which seem quite readable. Use of old-fashioned English annoys me a bit, but some of the best "study" translations with extensive notes are written that way.
I agree with your above comment about hadiths - the more I look into it, the more I find there are huge issues with authenticity which are often swept under the carpet. Traditionally, so much has been based on hadiths, so people are very attached to them.
I'm not sure either about periods making us unclean, because it's not in the Quran anyway. But it's a tradition that extends back a long way, exists in Judaism etc., so perhaps it's true.
Do you think that bodily waste and sexual fluids are things that need to be washed off with water to make us clean for prayer? If so, then it's not such a huge leap to believe the same about periods - they are also biological functions. The difference with periods is that you can't achieve cleanliness until it's over, so you have to wait.
We don't have sex with our husbands during our period either for the same reason, and our relationships don't suffer for that. So neither should our relationship with God suffer. That's the way I'm looking at it. ;)
That is a good point, and I have done more studying. It isn't as black and white as people think it is. I'm gathering info on the deal with menstration in hopes to develope a post that clears some of this up. It is annoying though because there is nothing we can do about it. It might stop one minute then hours later start again. You never know. But it really isn't as all bad as most think, its just not explained very well. And culturally speaking it is often treated as this evil dirty thing we are being punished with. I think that is why women get so upset over it. If it was treated the same as any other bodily fluid in the way it is spoken about I think women would be less upset.
ReplyDeleteHadiths have issues. That is basically how one needs to look at it. No one knows if the prophet said them and if it seems really off character then it probably doesn't belong to Mohammad (AS). At least, that is the way I look at it.