But unfortunately my issue is not the religion. I am starting to wonder if there are just too many cultural things weaved into Islam. So many that I'm not sure I can ever fit. Yes I have a couple convert friends and they are a gift from God but listening to all of them talk yesterday left me with a feeling of dread. Dread that I will never be able to function in this heavily biased culture. A couple of us went to get something to eat and they were talking about marriage. One girl mentioned how we should branch out into different cultures. How she has a friend who has been trying to marry this Arab guy for 3 years but because she is Indian his parents won't let him marry her; and they are perfect for each other. To my surprise, the other agreed with the parents! They said that it is probably best to stay within your culture because it just makes life easier and the parents won't make your life hell over it. And I thought to myself "Then who are the converts suppose to marry if you and your fiancee and the families all have to be the same culture?" But I also realized that even though these people are wonderful, they barely socialize with people outside their culture. That is also a major Islamic issue. They won't even branch out to talk to other Muslims from other cultures. And don't get me started on the Sunni Shia thing. My convert friend told me a story about how his wife and him went to an iftar dinner at a friends and when prayer came the husband of the friend found out my friend was Shia. He promptly kicked them out!!!!
*sigh* maybe Islam is mostly culture. And thus, if you are not Eastern, you are kinda outta luck until an American chapter fully opens up.
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Sigh, I hate hearing stuff like that. What about the verse in the Qur'an where ALLAH says that He made us different nations and tribes so that WE MAY KNOW ONE ANOTHER. If that isn't the biggest endorsement of branching out and interacting with different people than I don't know what is. :) And of course the Prophet's (saw) final sermon where he essentially shattered all concepts of racial superiority.
ReplyDeleteYes, maybe it is easier for people to marry within their cultures, but by no means is it the only way or even the best way. People should marry who they think is best, who is most compatible with them and who makes them happy. Period.
They kicked them out of an iftar because they were Shi'a? Right, because Shi'as totally don't celebrate Ramadan. I don't even know what to say. :PPP
It really grinds my gears that people insist on following these stupid cultural ideas about race, marriage, etc. when Islam CLEARLY says otherwise. Insha'Allah, people will realize their mistakes and the harm and hurt that these opinions cause, and will instead strive to practice what Islam actually says.
BananaAnne, No, the problem is that Shias pray a little differently and the differences are visible, and so that's how the host figured out IBABA's friend was Shia. And no doubt the host was like, OMG, that's bid'ah, etc.
ReplyDeleteIBABA, We have to judge a religion on its teachings, not on the behavior of its individual followers. Of course, that can leave us very isolated indeed. I have that problem with Christians and Christianity. But I am still a Christian after 30 years because I look only at the teachings of the Bible and not at any tradition, much less behavior. And God willing I will continue to read and live the Bible and view it alone as normative, even if I end up being the last person on the planet doing so.
Caraboska: Yeah you are right. I'm just not sure I want to go back to being a religious person in the closet because I cant stand the community. And I do want to get married someday *sigh*
ReplyDeleteIBBA, Look, it's not easy. When I was young, it was a real problem. But we have to ask the integrity question. This goes for choices in both religious and personal life of course :D Some things have to be more important than companionship. I write this wishing I could spare you the agony I went through, hoping that you will be able to deal with this matter more quickly, efficiently, fuss-free than I did. I know it's not enough to tell someone they 'shouldn't' think about companionship. That's what my parents basically did. I felt kind of left to my own devices. Probably the solution is different for everyone.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I never have required a lot of companionship. But it was a serious blow when, at the same time I decided to stop working on Sundays, all of the people I had been going out with after church on Sundays suddenly moved abroad for work. All of a sudden my Sundays were just... empty. I ended up all but crying on M's shoulder about it. He said, 'So you have this empty feeling because you don't have work, because you have no one to come home to?' 'Mm hmm,' I sniffled. 'Well, you know it's not like that, right?' He was of course talking about God. And remember, he's considerably over 50 and never even had a girlfriend, much less a wife. He knows what he's talking about...
Well, a couple of days later, I came home from a rehearsal and found a crowd of people gathered in front of my building, all focused on a spot on the ground in the midst of their circle. That spot turned out to be a beautiful, elegant brown and black striped kitten with white paws and a white 'tux shirt', and he was just LAPPING UP ALL THE ATTENTION :D He is the most impartially loving, forgiving creature I ever met.
And I began giving him dinner every night. It had never occurred to me that God's solution to my companionship problem might involve someone of another species... Anyway, the ritual was dinner at 10 PM and then sit down on the steps in front of my building and chat - with him curled up in my lap.
And then one night we had both come down with pneumonia. And it was the first cold snap of the fall - down near freezing not even a week after the autumnal equinox. But he somehow hauled his tired, feverish body up into my lap, I took a look into his poor, inflamed eyes and that was it. I made my decision: 'Man, you are not sleeping outside tonight...' and called the neighbors to hold the door for me. Then I took him in my arms and we slowly processed upstairs to my apartment.
And you know the rest of the story. He grew up into that mega-kitty who was trying to help me write to you the other night. Judging from how big he is now, he had to have been only 3 months old when I met him - but he was already as big as many adult cats even back then... And then I got him a cute little girlfriend. And we are living happily ever after :)
I guess what I've done is just love whoever God put in my path - regardless of gender, age, even species. There's always someone to love out there. And God says that whatever we did for the least of these, we did for Him. And I suppose that non-human beings are relatively low on the totem pole. So I pray the Lord will accept the love I offer Him by loving the creatures He has given me :)
Aw thats so sweet! Aw Thank God for such beauty. Yeah I know...I know what is more important. Hopefully God will tell me what to do.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdZ-QLDvtQE
ReplyDeleteI know that everyone has said this but with Islam it's all you can do - you have to continually separate the culture from the religion. From our talks I am confident that you understand every difference between the two so as annoying as it is, it's something we as Americans or Australians or whatever really need to keep remembering. God will tell you what to do with that, sure, but you need to open yourself up to Him first - like try and just leave all the cultural baggage behind. I know that's hard but again as converts/future converts/etc, that's just what we have to do.
ReplyDeleteAlso I think we can all repeat and repeat about no one culture or ethnicity being better than another but in the end I think it's just something we're going to have to deal with. It's been around since the beginning of time and definitely since the beginnings of Islam so... you know, we just have to learn how to deal with it OR combat it in a way that works for us.
TBH I've stopped even thinking about cultural influences on Islam. I know the differences between the two and I've had enough of the headaches it caused me in the past lol.
Every religion is going to have this issue. Except for those which are on principle tied to a given ethnic group. But both Islam and Christianity or sure have this problem. I've gone to different churches in different countries, I've even superimposed on my Christianity practices that could be termed 'generically monotheist' but which practically speaking I found in my contacts with Islam.
ReplyDeleteThis has stripped my faith of cultural trappings and shown me what is most important, what remains when all the trappings are stripped away: God, Jesus Christ, redemption, the Bible - and again, again, again: what it means to really have only one God. Sure, it has led to isolation. But I am responsible before God for the content of my own faith.
Maybe there will come a moment when God will lead me to work specifically with people who have cultural trappings attached to their religion, to show them that this, too, is a form of idolatry. But there are more important things that have to be taken up first: that notion of personal responsibility for the content of one's own faith, the notion of leaving in God's hands that which is solely His responsibility and role. Appropriately drawing the line of responsibility. Before someone understands this, it is impossible to talk with them about culture.
Conversely, before we ourselves can engage with people in this area, we have to be sure we ourselves are drawing this line appropriately. One book that I may have mentioned before, which has helped me tremendously in making the necessary - and sometimes very subtle - distinctions is Anthony DeMello SJ's 'The Way to Love' (previous editions 'The Call to Love'). I think probably this is what we need to focus on, and then if God leads us to serve by working with others on this type of material, that is well and good - but nothing by force. It's all got to come from God.
That's the thing with Islam. Islam is not necessarily what other Muslims believe like it is with Christian denominations (like... you can't really be a Baptist if you don't interpret the Bible like they do, you can't really be a Catholic if you don't interpret the Bible like they do, etc.). Islam is not a denomination or sect and it's not about your interpretation. It sucks to be in the minority of Muslims who believe things a certain way, but if that's what you believe, then it just is! Muslims are from so many different cultures and have so many different interpretations that they could divide and form 100 sects and have each sect consider the other not from the same religion as himself.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that some Muslims are so wrong in judging other Muslims who believe slightly different things, but you KNOW it's wrong and that it's not Islam. Islam is not a religion you choose because of its followers, it's a religion you choose because it its truth.
Umm, how to say this? Maybe people who are born into families that identify as Christian are what they are because of the followers of whatever it is they are, but no one chooses Christianity later on for any other reason than that it's true.
ReplyDeleteOne becomes a Christian by exercising personal faith in Jesus Christ. And if a person has truly believed, then it will show in their life by the fact that they adhere to Jesus' teaching - above all, that they love God with all their heart, soul and strength, and that they love their neighbor as themselves. The Bible teaches that this is the only way to become a Christian.