Who is a convert suppose to marry if none of these ethnicities want their children to branch out from their culture? Asians want only Asians, Pakistanis want Pakistanis, Africans want Africans. They won't even mix between the middle-eastern cultures sometimes let alone Western. So what is a convert to do? Only seek out other converts for marriage?
I bring this point up because I think it is something that those converting may forget about. Especially those who think they will be married soon after their conversion. What if you don't marry him? Then who are you going to marry? I know that I could be the greatest muslim in the world and My Love's family will still have issues because I'm not Pakistani. They feel that because I am American and he is Pakistani- American our life will be too hard. And, well, people fear what they do not understand.
So what do you do converts who do not have a marriage plan going in? How do you find a family that will accept you for their son?
Salaam
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Converts can marry any man/ women of there choice within the rules of Islam... eg. a male convert can marry a girl from a christian, muslim or Jewish background, and a girl can marry any muslim.
ReplyDeleteThe whole Pakistani:Pakistani Arab:Arab etc. is purely culture rather than religion.
In fact its less common to see two converts marry than a multi marriage!
Oh I know that. It just seems that the parents won't allow the mixing of cultures leaving converts without options for husbands.
ReplyDeleteI just find it funny. Its all "WOW she is a great muslimah, she converted and is a wonderful person. We really like her. Wait...she wants to marry my son? NO WAY!"
LOL
Not quite good enough you know?
The more funny thing is that when a convert marries a muslim man... if she is a good muslimah, her good deeds also count to him...so he has a lot to gain from a good convert muslimah!
ReplyDeleteOh true that! Forgot that one lol.
ReplyDeleteI think women converts don't have a hard time finding a husband overall. A lot of Muslim-born men are glad to marry a convert. Their families might not be as thrilled sometimes though.
ReplyDeleteThe culture difference is so hard though. It would be so much easier for me with a real Quebecker (convert!). I hope my daughter either marries a convert or a second (and +)generation Quebecker. To save her what I went thoguh. But she will chose who she choses!
I wish more parents of muslims could let their kids choose. I know the men are happy to marry converts, just not the parents. Oh parents just let your children be happy.
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with Islam. You're free to marry any Muslim man, be it Pakistani, Saudi, American, Indonesian, French, Egyptian or whatever..
ReplyDeleteIslam is a universal religion. If both the wife and the husband are Muslims, they both practise Islam, submit to God's will and make the decision to have an Islamic marriage, raise their children Islamically - not according to their own cultures and local customs, that should be just fine, because the rules and regulations in Islam are the same for all Muslims, they don't differ from one country or another. What is halal for American Muslims is halal for Saudi or Pakistani Muslims as well...
Where does it say in the Quran you should only marry people from your own nationality? We are all Muslims and our nation is al Islaam!
People shouldn't mix culture and religion.
May Allah guide these parents who don't let their sons or daughters marry good and pious Muslims, just because of their nationality, as this has no origins in Islam.
InshaAllah you'll get to marry the one you love and you'll be happy with him.
I think the way to convince these parents is to first educate yourself and then try to talk to these parents. They're probably just prejudiced, as well all have some prejudices, but inshaAllah you'll show them they're wrong.
Woooo I agree Hijab Chic. His parents are actually super nice though. Our hope is that by allowing them to get to know me in a non-future-wife sense they will see that our two cultures can be mixed well. Obviously, being muslim would help but I will clarify this now I am NOT CHANGING MY RELIGION TO MARRY :). Not gonna do it, no way. But it would help my case of course.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words of encouragement. Insha'Allah we will end up happy.
it is easier for a female convert to get married I had a lot of men jumping over themselves trying to get to me. It seems its harder for a covert man. I was lucky enough that my in laws (immediate meaning mother,father,brother,sister in lsws) are religious and they were impressed with me being muslim prior to meeting my husband.
ReplyDeleteI am open to whatever ethnicity my son/daughter wants to marry. I hope I remain as open minded as I am now later.
I hope so too Tuttie. I think it really should boil down to who a person is and not so much what they came from.
ReplyDelete